Penguin Fairy

Lucy and I had an awesome day today. We went to Dick's in search of a Penguin's jersey her size. Success. "LET'S GO PENS!" Lucy yells everywhere she goes. Then we went to Borders where I bought yet another cupcake cookbook to help fuel my vision of being the premier cupcake designer in Sewickley. For Lucy we bought a Fairy Wing kit that you see pictured below.

Fairy Wing Kit $ 5.99
Super glue $ 3.50
Penguins Jersey $45.00
Cutest little Penguin fan EVER, flitting around in custom designed fairy wings - PRICELESS

Creeepy

Lucy kept asking me to do a "googly eye" project with her. I kept saying . . . "later". She came up with her own.

Sunday

I went to a 50's theme party last night with a group of women I've become friends with over the last 9 months. Our husbands all decided to stay home and watch the Penguins in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals. That's a very legitimate reason here in Pittsburgh. There were still mostly couples at the party but many a husband looked forlorn as they too wished they were home watching the game instead of dressed up in a gay 50's outfit their wife made them wear.

I looked pretty cute if I do say so myself. Rather than go into detail, I will hopefully get a picture to share soon.

Lucy was up early so I was a little foggy all day after my late night. Chad worked most of the day. Henry and his "Sharks" team got their sweet little butts pummelled at hockey today. It was so painful to watch. We may be the worst in the league and I think we played the best today. It is quite amazing how good these little guys are at hockey.

I took the kids to see Night at the Museum 2 this afternoon. That was equally painful to sit through. Lucy fell asleep in my lap which was sweet but not so much so after my arms and legs started to fall asleep.

I am now happily in bed watching Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals. We're tied at the moment. I was never interested in hockey until moving here but it is an intense, impressive game to watch.

4 more days until summer vacation.

Kiss

My sweet Sam, 8 yrs old, told me tonight that he looked up "kiss" in the dictionary at school today. He giggled as he told me that it said "to touch lips" or something like that. It was so adorable that I almost couldn't even take it.

It Has Been Too Long!

Oh my goodness, it has been a month since I last posted anything. Too long.

I think I stopped blogging right about the same time that I applied to several freelance writing websites. All of my applications were accepted. Since then I have written nothing. no freelance. no blogging. nothing. I think I thought that if I was writing it should be for money, or at least the hope of money.

The one freelance site I was most interested in required 10 articles within a certain time frame. I'm pretty sure I'm closing in on that deadline. That is typical behavior for me. I need to get writing.

A couple of days ago I started a food journal. Simple writing in a simple notebook with a pencil. There was something about that simple act of writing that made me realize how much I miss writing and how good it is for my soul. I honestly think I should be doing more physical writing and not just typing although I think they are both good for my soul. However, there is something especially rejuvenating about putting a pen to paper.

So, call me on it. I know I have about 3 loyal readers. Remind me that I love to write! Remind me that you love to read what I write : )

Photos

For some reason I wasn't able to post the photos and comment on them in the same post.

I just love these photos. It is really hard to get a picture of Sam, much less a decent one. I love the expression on his face because it is totally him. I love that he let me take his picture which he never does. I even gave him a direction after one shot to raise his chin and he cooperated. I love that his skin is so perfect. He is getting so big and so old and so independent. It is heartbreakingly sweet to watch him with his little sister. On the other hand, watching him with his younger brother just makes you want to smack him up side the head. Having a little girl was so great for ALL of us.

Lucy is just gorgeous. I think. She is a willing subject. . . . for a little while. She just embraces life. I learn from her every day.

1 in 4 women are Fucking Idiots

According to Clear Blue, 1 in 4 women can misread a pregancy test. As a result, they've simplified it by actually displaying the words "pregnant" or "not". Apparently 1 line vs 2 lines was way too confusing. Thank you for the simplification.

Now, when I curse myself for not using the appropriate birth control and subsequently feel like an idiot it can be confirmed by the fact that I can purchase a test over the counter that is geared toward women being fucking idiots!!

So, I admit. I am an idiot. I thought family planning worked. Apparently it doesn't. Clear Blue has confirmed. I am an idiot.

Tuesday

Give Me That Fish!!!

I can't get this freaking song out of my head. I sing it all day long. And I just get better and better.

Hollywood Exposed

Ok, so I was just going to get Botox and not talk about it. There are so many haters in my life. Jealous bitches. And I really just love to show up looking fabulous and pretend I don't hear the whispers as I enter the room.

It had been a while since I got it (the first time). I was nervous. I took a bunch of Advil to numb the pain. I neglected to remember that ibuprophen is a blood thinner so it makes you bruise easier. Dumbass.

Dr. Gonzales was the plastic surgeon administering the injections. I have to admit I felt special having a plastic surgeon paying attention to me but not suggesting I do anything more. Your tits are fabulous! How old are you? NO?! Really?

One of the first things he said was "It's like Rice Krispies, right?". I said, "Huh?" Apparently I missed that the first time around. He reminded me it sounds like Rice Krispies when you penetrate some particular layer of skin.

I squealed like a stuck pig after every injection. And, oddly enough, it did sound like Rice Krispies. Creeeeeepy. But cool. I love that kinda shit.

Another weird thing that I should probably not be sharing is the fact that I can wiggle my ears like crazy now. I have always had that particular talent. However, after exercising my brow muscles, as instructed, I found that since certain muscles were paralyzed others were working overtime. My ears. Sexy. No?

I Don't Want Your Suggestions

I beg of you. Don't give me any suggestions. No, do. No, don't. For me, it's a big deal to listen to what other people think but ultimately listen to myself. Part of me is saying that this is all a bunch of bullshit so it doesn't matter. But it does. It is definitely an exercise in self expression and esteem.

Suggestions

Searching for Sarah . . . . .

What Would Sarah Do? . . . After reading the What Would Tyler Durden Do? blog every day I am reluctant to to have this title although I like the concept. Don't all of my readers want to know??!! What would I do??

I would love to hear any suggestions . . . .

Layout and Title

The current layout is actually the same as before with a different picture (that I plan on changing). I really liked the white picket fence pic with the chicken wire.. . . .

One avid follower suggested it might be time to change my title. I am open to suggestions although I am sort of attached to Disturbia.

My husband made a point the other day that makes me wonder if it applies to my blog also. I would ask him but he would probably distract me by telling me I'm cute thus making me forget what I was asking in the first place. He has a habit of doing that when he doesn't want to answer my questions. What was I saying? Oh yeah.

This is going to be a long drawn out boring way to make my point. which is not the least bit exciting. but here goes. . .

I have been wanting another tattoo for quite awhile now. Every time I ask my husband about one of my fabulous ideas he says, "I don't know if you're a 'tattoo on the neck' or a 'tattoo on the wrist' kind of girl" or a "blah blah blah kind of girl" or some shit like that. I usually just give a big sigh, smile and go back to my housewifely duties rather than repeatedly poke my fingers in his eyes.

So, after way too many of these same conversations, I asked ever so sweetly "Well, what the fuck kind of tattoo girl am I?? You just want to be the only cool one, don't you?! (he has lots of cool tattoos) " He finally gave me an explanation.

He said he thought I kept wanting these edgy tattoos that didn't go with my (not edgy) personality when getting a tattoo was edgy enough. That was actually the perfect analysis and explanation. He was totally right. Which was totally frustrating. He thinks I should get butterflies or flowers or some other girly shit.

My OTHER point is . . . I think my Disturbia title and pics are the edgy side of me that only really exists, if at all, in this blogging world. Thus I am reluctant to change it.

So whatddaya think??

Power 90: Day 2

I would like to thank everyone who politely held their tongue while quietly laughing their ass off when I said I was going to do P90X. Upon doing some research (after making my impulse purchase) and listening to my body (it was screaming are you f@*%ng crazy?!) I have decided to do Power 90 (the precursor to P90X).

I started yesterday and I think it will be perfect for me. I'm a little sore today but still highly functional and motivated. I have a sick child today so I haven't done Day 2 workout yet. But I will.

I took a before picture which I will not be posting.

P.S. I know I keep changing my layout but tell me what you think. is it easier to read with a white background or the yellow or should I try something else.

Power 90 Update: Lucy was finally feeling better so I put her in front of Dora in the room next to me and started Day 2 (cardio). Of course, she came in to see what I was doing and exclaimed "Good Job, Mama!!" Then she proceded to get in my way and I almost kick boxed her into the next room.

The Day 2 Cardio was harder than the Day 1 Sculpting. I am so glad I didn't start off with that Extreme shit.

What about This?

Searching for a new Look

What do you think? Love it? Hate it? Indifferent?

New Season

I'm feeling the end of a season, the beginning of a season, maybe boredom or perhaps my conscious . . . . whatever the fuck. I don't know.

My trashy shows are almost over. I've been checking out books from the library. I've been writing Haikus for goodness sake. Whatsa goin' on??!!

I have even committed with my sister-in-law to 'bring it' with P90X. I am the first person to jump on an exercise or nutrition bandwagon. I am also usually the first one to jump off the bandwagon. So, here I am, putting it out there. I ordered the DVDs and the chin up bar and I have committed to complete the 90 days of extreme workouts. I have yet to start the program but if I actually follow through I will be smokin' by summer. At a minimum, I can't look worse. Right??

In order to make this happen I will have to stop my nightly wine drinking and tv watching and actually get my big ass to bed and then up early in the morning. Just typing it is enough to make me realize it's a bad idea.

Alas. It's time to shit or get off the pot. Stay tuned.

Spring Haiku

We have had such cold temps here in Pittsburgh and this weekend was our first glimpse of Spring. It was wonderful. While at the park I was inspired to write my first Haiku of the year.

Cloudy eyes confused
Fresh faces smiling all day
Pale shy skin peeks out

Little toes are bare
Feeling the grass and pavement
Squishing in the mud

Bubbles are blowing
Doors are open, flies are in
Dust off your scooter

Sarah's Quick Jambalya

This is my shortcut recipe to jambalya. It can be ready in thirty minutes and it always gets rave reviews. My one official follower, DC Taste, is a chef in DC so this is not for her but for all the rest of you looking for a quick and easy meal that is sure to please.

* 1 box Zatarains Jambalya mix (usually in the rice aisle at your grocery store) Follow the directions on the box to cook but use a little more water than it calls for (I use chicken stock instead of water because I like it extra salty)

* Add 1 can of diced tomatoes, any variety. No need to drain.

* Add 1 large can of chicken (bigger than your normal tuna can). It's right by the canned tuna. It's great for casseroles or dishes like this. No need to drain. I like my jambalaya a little saucy. Like me.

While the above is cooking, pan fry some spicy andouille sausage or hot links. You can find them by the hot dogs. I slice up about two links and saute it until its a little charred and then dump it in the jambalaya pot, grease and all.

Let it all cook the 25 min or so that it says on the box and you're done! It's delicious.

Other nice additions are a little sauteed celery or onions. Thawed frozen shrimp, sauteed in the sausage grease is good too.

It's great with cornbread. Get that going while you're waiting for the water/stock to boil. Chopped jalepenos or canned corn are great additions to a plain cornbread batter (these would need to be drained : )

American Idol Update

It sucks.

I am still secretly wondering if they're going to bust out with the fact that it's really Special Olympics: American Idol Style. They might be testing us to see just how PC and nice people can be. It is the era of Obama, after all.

Rock of Love Bus Update

The first season of Rock of Love was really good. I'm not sure why I'm still loyal to it because last season sucked and this season sucks. The girls have gotten increasingly trampy (hard to believe). I guess I just really really really want Bret to find love.

Brittanya. She's pretty much dumb and mute but she's still there because she has some sick tattoos.



















This is Big John trying to reason with a very drunk girl named Kelsey. Just squint your eyes and picture me where Big John is and one of my kids in the place of Kelsey. It was pretty much the same conversation we have . . . crying, crying, crying then "Come oooooonnn, suck it up. What are you, a little bitch?" I really like those socks though. I wish I could pull off that look.
















Taya(not her real name - wink, wink). She got the fabulous news while filming the show that she was named Penthouse Pet of the Year. On the last show there was a challenge where the girls had to show their moves on a stripper pole. Some girls, although they looked like strippers, fell flat. That shit is harder than it looks! Jaws dropped, however, when Taya stepped up. WTF, they whispered, I think . . . Taya . . . might have done . . . . this before!#@!? If you were watching the show you probably didn't notice their jaws dropping because of all those big titties. but trust me.

When I was trying to find a picture of Taya I, of course, ran across some nude pictures of her HERE. I stumbled across them. I did not look for them. But there they were so I took a peek. Her face looks much better in pictures than in real life (on TV). Her areolas are HUGE. It looked like a UFO landed on her boob. More disconcerting was her vagina. I didn't notice it at first but once I did I was quite taken aback. I've never really looked at other vaginas before, or my own for that matter. Hers looked like a little hairless gremlin. like it might jump out and snatch you up. never to return.

Just in case you aren't up on the show. . . why would you be? This is Bret. If you know me at all, you know I hated the '80s. It was an awful decade for me. I hate most '80s music. I was never a big fan of Poison. Bret is definitely not my type. Hair extensions, artificially plumped up lips and bandanas just don't do it for me. But he is funny and smart and entertaining and I am some how able to overlook the fact that he is a man whore.


Last year, after becoming a fan of the show, I went to a Poison concert with my Rock of Love girlfriends. We had the BEST time!! The girl second from the left was pregnant so she was our designated driver. Bonus! If you look closely you might be able to see that the pregnant girl is wearing a tank top that says "Bret's Baby" with a big down arrow. We got a big kick out of ourselves.

Michelle Obama's Portrait Unveiled

First lady Michelle Obama's official portrait was released Friday by the White House, a month after her husband's came out. The first lady is wearing a black . . . . Oh wait, I just remembered. I don't give a shit.

Nip Tuck

I have at least four Nip Tucks on my DVR. I'm catching up tonight. I used to be much more in love with the show. The subject matter is always over the top but it's somewhat lacking this season.

For instance, in the episode I just watched, the doctors (Sean & Christian) lamented the loss of their lesbian anesthesiologist who realized she was in love with Christian, the hetero sex addict plastic surgeon for whom she worked. Sean, Christian's partner, then found himself interviewing a hot, tattooed anesthesiologist that would only work for him if she could 'really be who she was'. He then proceeded to find out just who she was. Just in case you were wondering, she was a whore.

Meanwhile they had a yogi patient that wanted a penis reduction because he was obsessed with sucking his own dick. After hearing that, a celebrity client of theirs broke his own neck trying extra hard to suck his dick just as well. Yaawwwnn.

Christian, the sex addict plastic surgeon, was conflicted about whether or not to inject his infant granddaughter with Botox or Collagen so she could become a child model. In the meantime, it was made clear that many physicians do actually perform these procedures on toddlers. He chose the moral high ground and did not perform any procedures on his granddaughter. Thankfully, he did appropriately chastise the baby's porn star mother.

It may be time to examine why I'm attracted to all of these fucked up shows. How 'bout lets not and say I did. Deal?

ask the Answer Bitch!

OMG. I just realized that some other bitch has my dream job. Yes, it's true. Apparently I am the under acheiver. Her blog is HERE. It's not even funny. And she has a new book out, The A-List Playbook, where she divulges dirty little secrets like . . . . skinny celebrities don't eat. no fucking shit? I bet the next secret she shares is that Britney and Jamie Lynn were scheduled to be implanted with birth control but something went terribly wrong; Pamela's tits are fake and Mickey Rourke is gay.

Woman's Face Ripped Off by Pet Chimp

You've probably heard about this story. It's horrific. Watch the entire video just so you can get Sandra's whole story. The 911 call is especially disturbing.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

And by disturbing, I mean that the 911 operator was a freaking idiot. "What's wrong with your friend" . . "He's killing her" . . . "OK, what's the problem?". And then he was like, "Yeaahhh right, your chimpanzee is killing your friend." A touch condescending, doncha think?

Also, does it look like Travis has a diaper on? He can drive, use the computer and model but he can't figure out how to use a toilet? That seems a little suspicious to me.

Sandra has had a rough time. Her husband died 5 years ago then her daughter was killed in an auto accident and now her beloved chimpanzee/son ripped off the face of her best friend. That's some fucked up karma right there. What are the chances she hangs on much longer?

On a lighter note, she looks pretty good for 70. And quick on her feet too. I have a feeling she has laced tea with Xanax before, no?

P.S. I have since read that Travis could not only use the toilet but could drink from a wine glass. Now its sounding suspicious but in a totally different way.

You can't eat it, you can't fuck it and it won't get you into heaven

That was Mickey Rourke's response to Bahbwa WaWa when she asked him what winning the Oscar would mean to him. (I'm just watching it tonight) OK, so now I love him. Mangled face, silver tooth, gay outfits and all. I feel bad for making fun of him and his chihuahua, Loki, who died after 18 years. His dogs truly kept him alive. And I totally understand that because if he had had children during that time in his life he definitely would have killed himself.

Hugh Jackman was voted 2008's sexiest man alive by People magazine. It was rumored he was gay even before I brought it up. I thought I was being original but hellooooo. . . . . his kids are ADOPTED!! OMG, gay gay gay gay. so cute. but gay. Just another example of the liberal mainstream media saying whatever the hell they want regardless of the truth. i.e. OBAMA. Media is talking out its butt about someone they know nothing about. Blah blah blah blah.

At least Mickey seems true to himself, you know? I have been identifying with various celebrities this week (not too much diff from other weeks). I admire Mickey for putting himself out there knowing people are going to make fun of him. He's not stupid; he knows what people are going to say: he obviously doesn't care. Again, I am reminded of myself. Why does everything remind me of myself???

It has been a big step for me to put my blog out there for anyone to read. Beyond my mother and my husband. There is just something about putting your shit out there and saying "here it is!". Don't like it? Oh, Well. Like it? Oh, well.

You can't put any more stock in people that like you versus people who don't. I think I am finally comfortable saying whatever I want and knowing that those who love me won't love me or leave me based on what I say in my blog. Everyone in my life is totally stuck with me by now.

Natalie Portman Rap

Natalie Portman is a vegan, which I love. She's mostly all shy and quiet when she's interviewed, kind of like me. I wish I could pull off a short hair cut like that but I think I'd have to be much more petite not to look like a lesbian. I'm a little envious she got to do this rap video. Can't you just see me in her place? We're like peas in a pod, me and Natalie.

warning: this video is very crude. don't watch it if you have delicate sensibilities.

p.s. When I mentioned to my husband the subject of this blog he had this blank look when I made the comparison to Natalie and myself. Fuck him.

p.s.s. Love you honey : )

I was able to embed this video at first but now it's been disabled. So check it out HERE.

Live From the Red Carpet

It's a good thing I wasn't invited to any Oscar parties turned down all those Oscar party invites. It affords me the opportunity to sit and watch, laptop at the ready, giving you my immediate reactions and observations. Otherwise, I would have been drinking and having fun and chatting. Now I'm just drinking. typing. drinking. typing. I've banished my children to the upper chambers and I'm enjoying a bottle glass of Jacobs Creek Reserve. Yes, that's right. Reserve. I usually drink the regular cheap cheap Jacobs Creek but tonight definitely calls for the Reserve.

If I don't publish my observations tonight then tomorrow they will seem (accurately so) completely irrelevant. So here goes.

Anne Hathaway is a true fashionista. I imagine I would be like her if I were 6 inches taller and an actress.

Mickey Rourke, 56, was still extremely disturbing. Although well spoken, he sported a Loki charm of his deceased 18 yr old chihuahua around his neck. My bad. I didn't realize he was gay.

You gotta love Sohpia Loren but it's time she stay home. She's not doing herself any favors.

Marisa Tomei, 43, is my idol. Nominated for best supporting actress for playing a stripper in The Wrestler, she is amazing. She didn't win the award but she won my heart.

Brad & Angie. Of course, I love them both but does she own any other style of dress?

Kate Winslet, The Reader, lovely as ever. I also imagine myself as her if I were a famous actress. She seems very 'real'.

Does anyone really like Beyonce's clothing line? I feel like it's a secret joke Hollywood is playing on us. One day we'll show up in those god awful outfits and everyone will scream "SUUUCKERRRR!"

Why is Jessica Beil at the Oscars. Did I miss something?

I love Robert Downey Jr. He looks amazing after all those yrs of hard living.

Josh Brolin and Diane Lane. It's like looking in a mirror. Me and Chad.

I thought Sarah Jessica left her troll of a husband. He's headed for Broadway. Heeellloooo. He's gay.

Taraji P Henson. supporting actress for Benjamin Button. Don't know who she is but she is so cute!

All of you Botox naysayers, did you notice how many of the stars have obviously had it?! Young, old and in between. So There! And I really don't want to hear anything about how I'm not a movie star so why am I comparing myself to them. Fuck you. That's what I say to that. I am a star in my own movie every g*damn day.

I thought Hugh Jackman was hot until he started dancing around like a fag. Disappointing.

WTF. I just noticed Mickey has a silver tooth. Every time he starts to redeem himself I'm struck by yet another fucked up thing about him. Disturbing. Who advises him?

Now I can't decide if I'd rather be Kate Winslet or Tina Fey.

When you watch these shows are you bored? Envious? Happy with exactly where you are in your life? Does it effect you a little, a lot, or not at all. I think I have been more apt to compare myself in my later years. When I was young it seemed like I still had a chance. But as everyone gets older it seems like something really unfair is going on. Nonetheless, I am comforted by the fact that I don't need/desire accolades from millions of people. I am quite happy with myself and my life.

The only thing I require is that my children do the "Hi Mom" thing when they are being interviewed after a game, play or recital.

I felt bad for Jen A up there. I can't imagine anything worse than standing before Brad and Angelina and their 50 kids. I think I would do the honorable thing and stab myself with my sword. Bravo to her for giving it an outstanding effort though.

Sank you, sank you, sank you belly much. Domo arigato. mista robato.

If you didn't get that then you weren't watching. But thanks for checking in. xo

25 Random Things About Me

I'm not so sure about Facebook yet but apparently I have too much time on my hands so I participated in this . . . . I don't want to type it again here or even cut and paste it. So just check it out HERE if you are interested. I know you are.

p.s. I realized, after the fact, that you couldn't actually read the 25 fabulous random facts about me without logging in to Facebook and already being my 'friend'. Yet, there was no one who mentioned that so maybe you're not reading everything! ?#@ . Again, too much time on my hands. here it is.

1. I never went to kindergarten. That might explain why I don't always play well with others.

2. I love to drink wine.

3. I love to cook and collect cook books.

4. I love to hang out in book stores when I have nothing better to do. Or when I have lots better things to do.

5. I love reality television. They should put my shit on TV.

6. I love blue cheese more than anyone else on the planet. Really. I challenge you to prove me wrong.

7. My husband is from Oklahoma but we didn't date until after we had both moved to California and met up again. He is the love of my life.

8. I've been spending way too much time on Facebook lately; mainly because I'm avoiding housework. Not because I find you all fascinating.

9. I don't have to wash my hair every day. It looks fabulous for days!! At least that's what I tell myself. Plus, I look really cute in a ball cap.

10. I volunteered to get Botox at an event that was showcasing different cosmetic procedures. I looovvveeed it!! I look fucking fabulous!!

11. I have the cheapest and best cleaning lady EVER. She comes and cleans for 4 hours a week and I only have to pay her $50! Yes, she is a US citizen and speaks English!! Now you know why I can spend all this time of Facebook.

12. I am a foster parent to sick babies.

13. Just kidding. Just wanted to see if you're still paying attention.

14. I am surprisingly excited to go to my 20 yr high school reunion considering I was pretty depressed all those years.

15. I can never resist pizza. good pizza. mediocre pizza. shitty pizza. all pizza. it's a problem.

16. I kissed a girl twice once. and I liked it.

17. I leg pressed 260 lbs today.

18. I hate to get flowers on holidays and anniversaries. Too cliche.

19. I have a French Bulldog that snorts and farts all the time. I love it.

20. Lord have mercy. this is boring.

21. If anyone actually reads this whole list then you have to comment.

22. I love to swear.

23. I have the cutest, smartest children ever. I know everyone says that but, come on, that's just bullshit. I can't even stand half the kids I come into contact with.

24. I'm allergic to the sun. Seriously. And not in the same way I'm allergic to housework. I'm really allergic to the sun. It gives me hives.

25. I have no idea how I ended up with so many friends on Facebook. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

My Blog is Experiencing a Downturn

This is just a warning, to those who give a shit, that my blog may be focusing (for a short time) more on the superficial than the spiritual. I am finding comfort in cursing and making fun of people. I'm not proud of it. I would not recommend it. But that's what I'm doing. Like it or not. Read it or don't.

I was really surprised when I did a little research and found that the movie 9 1/2 Weeks came out in 1986. Lord knows I feel old as it is, but I did not realize that I was only 15 yrs old when this movie came out. It made a BIG impression on me and my sexual development. If only in my mind. And, thankfully, my mind was the only thing that was active at that time.


So, here comes the disturbing part. Have you seen Mickey Rourke lately? He's nominated for an Oscar but he's a fucking mess. Holy Fuck is he hard to look at. That's it. I'm just disturbed. I can't believe I had fantasies about this man. It's just all fucked up.

More Videos

These are for all those Lucy fans out there who just can't get enough. More of the same singing; a little less polished than the last post. She needs to learn some new songs : ) There's one at the very bottom of the boys when they first unpacked all of their Ebay legos. They don't seem quite as comfortable on camera as Little Miss Lucy.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star


You Are My Sunshine


ABC 's


Mary had a Little Lamb


Ebay Legos for Christmas

Mystery Solved

I know we've all said it . . . . what the hell could have happened to those f*#!ng socks?? Well, guess where we found these babies?

My dryer was taking about 3 times longer to dry clothes than it should so, on a hunch, I asked my dear husband to check out the vent thing that shoots all the dryer steam outside. Lo and behold, he stuck his hand in and pulled out SOCKS. They had been sucked out of the dryer into the vent thingy and it was all clogged up! Holy Crap!! Just imagine all those socks that have been sucked right out of the house and sent flying up to sock heaven. What happens to them? They could be picked up by a neighboring dog, a stray cat, a squirrel or some wandering, crazed housewife who has finally reached her limit with mismatched socks.

Personally, I have found some comfort in this. I am not crazy. There is a black hole and it's stealing my socks.

My Little Stars

You are My Sunshine (Lucy, 2.8 yrs)


Twinkle Twinkle Little Star


Hank playing hockey. He's #25 ( 6.75 yrs)


Sam (8yrs) playing basketball. He's #8 in a purple shirt, pants w/white stripe.

3 Bite Rule

Have you heard of the 3 bite rule? Mireille Guiliano talks about it in her book, French Women Don't Get Fat. She says if you want to indulge in something, limit yourself to three bites and then move on. In three bites you've experienced it.

Another webiste says something similiar: The first bite of something is the best, the second confirms it, and the third is to be savored. After that it's all downhill.

Makes sense to me. I'm definitely going to keep it in mind. I am still tracking all of my food through Weight Watchers and know those bites add up. Like those 55 bites of nachos the other day. Nachos with ground sirloin, queso, black beans, sour cream, cheese, pico and lots of love. I enjoyed every single bite. I looked up the WW points when I got home and found it was worth 31 points. Basically all my extra points for the whole week. My daily points are only 22. Will I choose the nachos again? Maybe not.

Big sigh. I love WW. It's a great way to gauge what you're really eating. Learn to prioritize. Honestly, I'm surprised I don't weigh 300 pounds. I LOVE TO EAT AND DRINK WINE. It's definitely my escape. My guaranteed feel good moment of the day. When you are tracking your food/points you do question how good that food or wine is really going to make you feel.

Would I rather be thin? Or would I rather be fat, happy and have big boobs. I think all who know me know the answer to that.

Cardboard Box

I don't know why I'm still surprised at how much fun kids can have with a cardboard box. Henry and Lucy have been fighting over this box all day. Henry sat inside, decorating for quite a while. As soon as he went upstairs Lucy promptly jumped in and did a little coloring of her own (including her lips if you look closely). As I type, Henry is trying to get it up the stairs so he can hide it away from Lucy. He may just ruin it in the process.

This is Sam's contribution to the inside of the box. His attempt at trickery. After he wrote that he ran up to my room and locked the door so Henry wouldn't find him.

Sam has spent the day trying to get away from Henry. Henry has spent it trying to get away from Lucy. And I've been trying to get away from all of them. Hmmmmm. . . . perhaps I should brush up on my mothering skills. Whatever. It's almost time for wine. Tomorrow is another day!!

I LOVE Reality TV

Much to my chagrin, I must admit, I love reality TV. A new season has begun and I am filled with giddy anticipation each time I pull up my DVR list. First on the list of shows that I know I shouldn't watch but can't help myself is Bromance. This is an idiotic show about a bunch of guys vying to be Brody Jenner's friend. His BRO. Not a romance. But a BROmance. It is just about the gayest concept for a show except for the fact that Brody Jenner is unbelievably fucking hot.



Second on the list is a spin off from the MTV show The Hills, which I never watched. Nonetheless, I am oddly drawn to this show, The City, starring Whitney Port. I'm almost as attracted to her as I am to my new found BRO.

















Thirdly, there is sweet Jason, the single dad who was totally screwed over by last season's bachelorette, DeAnna. He was previously married to some whore that left him with his adorable son Ty. He is devoted to his son yet can't find love. WTF?? Now he's looking for love on The Bachelor amongst 25 new whores. Good Luck, Jason.

There are even more that I am following but not worth mentioning. Let me know if you have any favorites or have a book that might capture my attention even more : )

Mama, I NEEEEED YOU!!

Multiple times a day, my sweet 2.75 yr old Lucy, utters the words, "Mama, I NEEEED YOOOUUU!". Perhaps utter is not the right word. Sometimes she bellows. whines. cries. screams. Rarely does she whisper.

Busy with something, I usually respond with, "WHAT do you need, Lucy?" I need YOU, Mama." "Ok, but what do you NEED?" I need YOOOUU!!!!" Sometimes, she calls from the couch as she's watching Dora. Sometimes she yells at me from upstairs. Sometimes she comes to me while I'm on the computer with her arms stretched up as far as they'll go. Half the time I give a big SIGH and say, "Ok, Lucy, you've got me. Now what." "I just need you, Mama," she says as she lays her sweet cheek on my shoulder. Now, if that's not enough to melt me, I don't know what is.

Lucy is my reminder that NOW is the most important time of all. She basically beats me over the head with the fact that all she really needs is ME. Just Me. Now. She doesn't care if the kitchen is clean or if all the laundry is done. She doesn't care if there are dust bunnies and dog hair under the couch. She doesn't care if I'm skinny or have on make up. She just needs ME. To be present. NOW.

It's so easy to get caught up in all the daily STUFF. Just trying to get it all done. For what? So I can do it again tomorrow? So I can feel like I DID something??

This year, I resolve to pay more attention to when my children and husband need ME and focus less on what STUFF I think I need to get done in order to feel like I accomplished something today. I will spend less time on the computer and more time cuddling. I will watch less TV and read more with my children. I will try to enjoy playing that hockey game the boys got for Christmas even though I suck at it. I will have more sex. Yes, that's what I said.

What are you going to do this year?

Batter Blaster Makes Breakfast a Blast!

Soon after I wrote my post about making more pancakes for my lovelies, lo and behold, I stumbled upon the Batter Blaster at Sam's Club. It's organic and contains no trans fats or high fructose corn syrup. Semi-healthy pancakes from a pressurized can? Too good to be true, I thought. It came in a pkg of three so it was a gamble. Winner, winner, chicken dinner!! As of today, I have gone through two cans and am quickly on my way through the third. Everyone loves them!

The batter is really thin so I have to make the cakes small so I can flip them easily but that's what I usually do anyway.

What? You say you want pancakes for breakfast? Shake, spray, flip and WAH LAH, pancakes!! The votes are in. I'm the best mom they've ever had.

Life is Short. Life is now.

A women that I knew through neighborhood parties, said hi to in the grocery store and, from the outside, lived a life very similar to mine, passed away last night. She was 39, had three children and a wonderful husband and although seemingly healthy, was diagnosed with leukemia less than 8 months ago.

I had heard about her diagnosis through the grapevine and ran into her in Target once after that. She looked fine to me. I expressed my concern and chatted for maybe a minute. Now she's dead. She's dead with three children at home that are the same age as mine and will grow up without a mother.

I did not follow her condition and heard this morning that she would not live through the weekend. I came home today and read all of the Caring Bridge posts over the last 7 months. I am now intimately aware of how horrific and yet hopeful the last 7 months of her life were. There was such an amazing outpouring of love and support from her family and friends. I feel guilty that I read it all after the fact and did nothing myself to help her or express my support. My heart and entire body aches for her and for her family.

Today I hugged my husband a little tighter and my children a little longer. I lay with my 2 year old at bedtime and she gave me sweet kisses in the dark. I have no idea if my life will be short or long. What I do know is all I have is NOW and I want to make the most of it. I want it to be on purpose. I think I will finally read the book that is referenced in the prior post. And, of course, make more pancakes.

Just Like Any Other Day . . . but with more pancakes

My mother bought me a book awhile ago called Life is a Verb: 37 days to Wake Up, Be Mindful and Live Intentionally. I was familiar with it from a very well written and inspirational blog she introduced to me. The premise is, basically, what would you do if you knew you had only 37 days to live. This is based upon a life experience of the author which you can read about on her blog. My description would pale in comparison. It's a great blog. Check it out.

So, I finally read just the introduction of the book a few weeks ago. After asking the 37 days question she wrote about many responses. One response that I haven't been able to get out of my head went something like (I'm paraphrasing because I have dogs and children in my lap), "the same thing as every other day but with more pancakes".

My children often ask for pancakes for breakfast in the morning before school. My usual response is something along the lines of, "I don't have time, I have lunches to pack; I don't want to mess up the kitchen; How about cereal this morning and pancakes on the weekend?" But ever since I read that intro in the book I have not been able to refuse them pancakes. The truth is, the time it takes me to whip up the pancakes does not compare to the smiles on their faces and the knowing that they are going to school with full bellies, smelling of syrup. I hope that they will remember the pancakes and not necessarily the fact that they were embarrassed that I wore my pajamas to the bus stop.

365 days?

It's December 2. I'm not a big fan of New Year's resolutions yet it is that time of year when one starts to think of such things. It is quite possibly spurred by that turkey, gravy, dressing, coconut cream pie coma that I'm just coming out of. I can't seem to get the healthy, fit & balanced mantra out of my head during these last days of 2008. That is a good thing. If only it would stick.

And you? What is playing in your head? Are you thinking of all you can eat or drink during the month of December because you are going to resolve to lose it in 2009? Don't kid yourself, compadre. Are you too stressed about gift giving to think about next year's resolutions? Don't stress. Giving should be purely about joy, not obligation (although I strongly disapprove of the word 'should'). I am proud to have eliminated that stress from my life. I love to give and that is the only reason I do it. If nothing jumps out at me to give you then, well, you probably won't get anything.

I've been toying with the idea of resolving to post something every day during 2009. I love to write. It is a great outlet for me. I wouldn't want it to be a chore. However, sometimes those types of challenges are necessary for growth. I've also been thinking about a real resolution to be a vegetarian in the new year. That would be a great challenge and something I truly believe in. I think it would be the perfect thing to take me outside of my comfort zone. It's not really a challenge if it's not outside your comfort zone, right?

I would love to hear the resolutions that would push you outside of your comfort zone.

I am also really excited about the new Bachelor starting January 5!!! Totally in my comfort zone. I will snack on only vegetarian snacks while I watch it : )

What to Write?

I've been feeling my blog calling me lately but I have no idea what to write about. So this is me just writing and figuring that nobody is really reading it right now.

I sliced the shit out of my fingers today while trying to add some sort of vegetable (seedless cucumbers) to the Burger King chicken nuggets my children were devouring. Don't you love seedless cucumbers? Really. I love them. With dairy free dill dressing. My fingers hurt like hell though. Sweet Lucy tried to fix them up with all sorts of band aids. "Poor Mama", she said. Meanwhile the boys were laughing about all the blood and elbowing each other about how it must have really hurt since I cursed. "I cursed? What did I say?" I said. In unison they replied, "SHIT". Oh, yeah, well it really fucking hurt. At least I didn't say that. I also resisted the urge to call them ungrateful jackasses. That's being a good mom right there.

Speaking of dairy free, I've been eating meat and dairy all day, every day. As Henry said, "that vegetarian thing's not working out very well is it?" I am still very aware that I want to eat a meat free diet but my intention and action are just not matching up yet. Oh well. Viva la turkey!

I'm still a little depressed about Obama winning. I won't go in to it, but I am.

I got my 2ND of 3 laser skin treatments today. So excited about that. I can't wait to show before and after pictures. I can't tell any difference so far but soon . . . . the pictures will tell.

I am hosting my first cookie exchange party in a couple of weeks. I have invited a bunch of random people who don't know each other and I'm really excited about it because I really like all of the people that are coming. It's too bad none of them read my blog. They might be flattered.

Last but not least, I am wearing new jeans today that I LOVE. Noone noticed how good my ass looked today but it did. I was asked to model them at a Newcomers Meeting, a group that I just joined in my new neighborhood. I really think they asked me because I'm new and eager. I almost embraced the modeling thing but not really. I haven't quite channelled my AMNTM persona yet. That's American' Next Top Model for anyone who's actually reading this. The jeans are IT brand. And I am IT. as in the shIT. Just kidding. Oh what the hell. I am the shit. As far as you know.

Mulligatawny Spicy Soup

This recipe is from vegcooking.com. I have not tried it yet but it sounds like a wonderful fall soup full of flavors that are sure to excite the palate. My initial thoughts upon reading the recipe would be to substitute lite coconut milk for the soy milk and coconut extract. I will use vegetable stock (not water) and canned, diced tomato instead of fresh.

This spicy, guilt-free dish will warm your stomach. Knowing it’s meat-free will warm your heart.

1 1/2 cups chopped onion
1 celery stalk, chopped
1 small chili, seeded and chopped (or a pinch of cayenne, to taste)
1 tsp. turmeric
1 Tbsp. ground coriander seeds
4 cups water or stock
1 cup soy milk
1/2 tsp. salt
1 medium carrot, chopped
1 large potato, cut into small cubes
1 medium red or green bell pepper, chopped
1 firm tomato
1/2 tsp. coconut extract (optional)
2-4 Tbsp. fresh lemon or lime juice
2 tsp. chopped fresh cilantro (optional)

• In a medium soup pot, saute the onions and celery in a little broth or water.
• When the onions are translucent, add the chili, turmeric and ground coriander. Saute for a minute, stirring to prevent the spices from burning. Add the water or stock, soy milk, salt, carrot and potato. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.
• Add the pepper, tomato and coconut extract. Simmer gently for another 10 minutes or until the vegetables are tender.
• Then add the lemon or lime juice and cilantro.

Serve at once or let sit for an hour or so to bring out the flavors and then reheat gently and serve.

Taxes Simplified

This is an example that I was forwarded in an email. I thought it was appropriate to share.

Tax system explained in terms of beer - to give you some perspective:

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes, so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so,
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 ( 22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back
when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We
didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not
understand, no explanation is possible

P.S. If Obama is elected we have told the children that we are moving to Costa Rica.

How do you think we got here?

Someone asked me recently "Well how do you think we got here?!" referring to the current economic crisis. This person obviously thought it was the fault of republicans. I disagreed. Take the time to watch this video and the next one and then tell me how you think we got here.


TIP: click the button on the bottom of the video (next to the volume control) to view full screen


another very informative and distubing video . . . this one especially should be viewed full screen.

A Timely Joke

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level, at 31 degrees, 14.
97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man.
“How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost.
Frankly, you've not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist,
“How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don't know where you are or where you are going.
You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.”

Are You a Donkey or an Elephant

I took the The Republican Loyalty Quiz
10 Questions to Test Your Allegiance to the GOP

The results were:

"Your score was 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. You are a devoted Republican. You are quick to rally behind the party, even if you have not agreed with every decision Republican leaders have made. The few differences you have are nothing compared to your complete and utter disdain for the Democratic Party and the elitism, cowardice, and godlessness for which it stands."


Don't be a JackassTake your own political party loyalty quiz HERE.

Obama: Without the Teleprompter

I am a McCain/Palin supporter. I am not one to dog the opponent although opportunities do abound. This post is in response to my mother's post where she is obviously disturbed by a previous Palin interview. Everyone has faults. Obama is a fine person but unelectable in my opinion.



And another . .

Conservative or Liberal

You scored 71% which means you are

 

conservative.

You believe in personal responsibility, limited government, free markets, individual liberty, traditional American values and a strong national defense. Believe the role of government should be to provide people the freedom necessary to pursue their own goals.

Conservative or Liberal
Take More Quizzes

Love my new Keurig!!

I retired my Senseo with the old house and purchased a Keurig Home Brewing System for the new house. I love it!! Why, you ask? Well, first I just love to get new kitchen gadgets. Besides that, it has a bazillion choices for coffee, tea and hot cocoa. No mess. I like the coffee better than the Senseo. I didn't really dig the frothy European thing.

Juleah, you would love it!!

Yard Sale Update

I meant to take a picture of all my junk that was left over at the end of the weekend but instead I just packed it all up, left it for the VVA to pick up and hightailed it outta there . . . . to the new house. Ahhhhhh. Where everything's better.

We made about $150. That's a lot of work for $150 but I had to get the stuff out of the house anyway so it's much better than nothing. However, I still have a whole hell of a lot of stuff to clear out. Ugh!! It will be all over by Aug 29. I think I can. . . I think I can. . . I think I can. . .I think I can.

Yard Sale

I'm stuck now. I posted neon signs all over my neighborhood that I'm having a "moving sale". I hate yard sales. Most people I know love them. Instead of blogging, I should be organizing my shit but I just can't get motivated. Do you think I could just charge a $2 admission and let people go through my house while I drink my coffee and take what they want?? It's got to be worth a lot just to get people to take my stuff away without me having to do anything.

We've pretty much got everything we need in the new house. The rest of this stuff is just a pain in my side. How did I end up with so much STUFF??!! I think I need to do some serious soul searching regarding this issue. The good thing is that I don't want to take any of it with me. The less the better.

We've had a couple of people that work for us come by and take what they want. I am so glad to give it to people we know that really want/need it but now my big ticket items are gone which means my yard sale is going to be pretty boring. Whatever. The kids will be in heaven to sell their stuff and I know our good, useful stuff has already gone to people who can really use it.

My First Time Tagged

I have been tagged by NurseExec, one of my new favorite bloggers. She's honest and flawed, two of my favorite qualities. It's my first time to be tagged for anything and I'm so excited! Not to mention this is honest to God proof that someone besides my mother reads my blog.

Six Unspectacular Things About Me is the topic. I know what you're thinking. I am just so fucking spectacular that this could take me all night.

First you post the rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks you possess.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Here's my list:

1. I can't stand it when people drink my water, mostly at home. My children could be dying of thirst and I growl "GET YOUR OWN WATER!" I always have a full glass on the kitchen counter so I can make sure I get my required ounces. Everyone in the house, big and small, will walk in the kitchen and, rather than get their own damn glass, drink mine!! How hard is it to open the cabinet and get your own glass and, imagine this, fill it up. Now they all know it pisses me off so they drink it on purpose. They're out to get me.
   
   


2. I have the most horrendous, stinky gas. All the time. I can't control it. It doesn't seem to matter what I eat. healthy or not. I think by the time I'm an old women I'm going to be exiled to some far away place. I am a cute girl. I take care of myself. Not that it should matter but I think it's my cuteness that has kept me from being exiled so far. It's just weird. It's really a problem. Any advice out there???
   
   


3. I compulsively pick at the skin on my fingers and toes. Also really gross and not compatible with my cuteness.
   
   


4. I can count on my two hands the number of periods I've had in the last 8 years. I've had three children and I have an IUD which has the side effect of no periods. It's completely healthy. It's awesome.
   
   


5. The only television I like to watch these days are reality shows. I do like Grey's Anatomy but my absolute favorites are America's Next Top Model, The Bachelor or Bachelorette, Rock of Love, Denise Richards- It's Complicated (which it's not btw), on and on and on. I have not been able to get in to Pamela Anderson's new show though. She should be exiled to a remote island where they send all the other big boobie sex addicts.
   
   


6. I love really gross things like puss and blood and things like that. As long as it's not stinky or too too yucky. I love to pop zits. Any time my kids get a scrape I can't wait to put peroxide on it and watch all the bubbles. I love to play doctor with my razor sharp tweezers when someone gets a splinter. One of my absolute favorites was when my son had a spider bite on his knee. Swollen. Painful. We put hot compresses on it frequently to draw the infection out. You could tell it was full of nasty stuff but every time I tried to squeeze it he would scream in pain. whatever. finally, when he was running and playing one evening it burst and exploded all over his leg. awesome.

Tag You're IT!!

1. Connie (my mom)
2. Motherhood for Dummies
3. Juleah (my sister-in-law)
4. Natalie
5. Nap Warden
6. Unfortunately, I don't have many followers so I can't think of anyone else to tag.

How to Look Good Naked

I love this freaking show!! It is crazy how Carson can change the perception of women's bodies in like 5 days. Carson is able to stroke any big 'ol thigh or big 'ol booty and all of a sudden women love themselves and are able to see their worth. They believe him, and well they should.

I won't go in to how many women's worth is tied up in their body image. That issue is just f*cked up and I don't have the time or inclinaton to go in to it. It is obvious when you watch the show. If you don't have this issue, you are in the minority.

As far as the show, I would really like to just do the part where they take you into a room, in your underwear, and have you pick your body double and then realize you're not as fat as you think you are. That is the always the biggest perception changer. Most of us apparently think we are bigger than we actually are and, at a minimum, don't realize how attractive we are at our own size.

In the back of my dysfuctional head I would always think they were just f*cking with me for ratings but I'm not on the show so it doesn't matter. I just have my 6 & 7 yr old boys to give me their honest opinions. They are brutal but honest. And I love them for it.

Lucy doesn't suck her thumb anymore

For the last 2 yrs, every time Lucy held that bunny her thumb went in her mouth. I loved it. Oh, so cute. A few weeks ago I noticed she wasn't sucking her thumb anymore so I started paying more attention. I haven't seen her suck it for a loooong time. I think she's done. Everyone I mention it to says, "Oh, that's great!". It just makes me sad. My baby is growing up too fast.

Morgan & Milo

Morgan & Milo. Just about the cutest shoes I've ever seen for little girls. I showed restraint by buying two pairs that were on SALE: )

These lovelies (size 7.5) immediately went on Lucy's feet and were worn for the rest of the day. We both loved them and so did random people on the street. She was so proud to tell people that they were new and that her mom got them for her. That's all I ask. A little gratitude.








and these cuties which are a size 8; a little big so we're saving them for school.









Lastly, I splurged on a this pair of boots that were not on sale. Also a size 8 so will be saved for the Fall/Winter. I can't stand how cute she is in these. A little big but as soon as fall arrives we will wear them any way.









Lucy and I both absolutely adored these shoes. I would have purchased them even though not on sale but they were out of her size. Bummer.









She was even more excited about all the new shoes than I was. She couldn't tear open the box quick enough when it arrived. Such a relief not to have to buy those booorrrring boys shoes all the time.

Tofurky Kielbasa

I was really trying to feel moved and inspired to write something profound and introspective today. In general, I feel conflicted and overwhelmed and self-destructive, aware of all of it but still not inspired to write about it. I guess if you are trying to feel inspired then you're probably not going to be really inspired.

I was moved by my mother's post today and the posts on 37 days but the one thing that I can't get out of my head is this . . . Tofurky Kielbasa. Even the raccoons don't want it.

I tried the above veggie sausage and after eating it twice just couldn't embrace it so I pitched it. Invariably, when I take the trash outside there are empty packages on the ground of things formerly in the trash that I couldn't believe any animal would want, starving or otherwise. Those little fuckers must be desperate I often mutter to myself.

Well, today I was taking out the trash and noticed the package of my remaining Tofurky Kielbasa sausages on the ground. dirty but ALL still there. Are you f*cking kidding me?! Even the raccoons won't eat it?? They'll eat rotten hamburger but not my Tofurky kielbasa? For the record, I really like typing and saying Tofurky.

That's it. No metaphor for life. Just Tofurky Kielbasa. Even the raccoons don't want it.

Seitan

I finally tried seitan, pronounced say-tan, which I purchased at Whole Foods. It is a chewy, neutral-flavored, protein-rich food made of wheat gluten, used as a meat substitute in vegetarian dishes. It is sometimes referred to as "wheat-meat".

Most of the meat substitutes I have purchased at our local grocery store contain TVP, textured vegetable protein. I haven't minded the taste of the TVP products but have found it gives me monster gas. Seriously bad. Plus, those products are pretty processed. Still better than processed dead animals though.

The seitan had a much nicer texture than the fake beef crumbles and fake chicken strips, tasted better and so far noone has kicked me out of bed. Unfortunately, I can only buy it at Whole Foods. It is fairly simple, but time consuming to make from scratch. As soon as we move I'll make some in my new fabulous kitchen!