Transform Your Life Through Handwriting

OK, so I have been a member of the One Spirit book club for a couple of years. There are "featured selections" each month that if you don't decline will be automatically sent to you. In general, I have been very good at declining the monthly selections. The handful of times I have forgotten to decline and received a surprise book in the mail I have believed it was "meant" to come my way.

I don't remember the last time I forgot to decline but, recently, a surprise package was delivered. My first instinct was, "Oh Crap!" But then I got excited because I remembered that in the past something very appropriate has appeared at just the right moment.

The book: Transform Your Life Through Handwriting by Vimala Rodgers. It includes: 2 CDs, Guidebook, blank journal and 26 alphabet cards.

I'm not sure I can explain it succinctly but, in a nutshell, you practice one letter for 40 days plus a "letter of the day". The focus of the book is "to guide persons in adopting handwriting patterns that bring out the best in themselves, with a specific emphasis on the transformational power of the letters of the Alphabet." (Imagine spooky music)

Vimala says that writing patterns are a graphic image of how your subconscious mind interprets the world and your place in it. As you adopt new letter shapes, you are telling your mind how to think and the subconscious may not be pleased!

She goes on to say, "Your handwriting is an intimate portrait of how you see yourself - a graphic representation of collective memories programmed by your subconscious mind from birth onward, reflecting both your strong points and those that have put a screeching halt to your inborn creativity. . . As you adopt self-affirming writing patterns, you are discarding outdated thought habits and acknowledging your authentic self at the highest possible level."

So I'm game! I listened to the first CD last night. This morning I got up at 6am while my minions were still snoozing. I chose 2 letters to practice for 40 days (she said you could do that) and then I'll add a "letter of the day" each day. More to come on all of that and a short analysis of my own handwriting in the next post!

New Season

I'm feeling the end of a season, the beginning of a season, maybe boredom or perhaps my conscious . . . . whatever the fuck. I don't know.

My trashy shows are almost over. I've been checking out books from the library. I've been writing Haikus for goodness sake. Whatsa goin' on??!!

I have even committed with my sister-in-law to 'bring it' with P90X. I am the first person to jump on an exercise or nutrition bandwagon. I am also usually the first one to jump off the bandwagon. So, here I am, putting it out there. I ordered the DVDs and the chin up bar and I have committed to complete the 90 days of extreme workouts. I have yet to start the program but if I actually follow through I will be smokin' by summer. At a minimum, I can't look worse. Right??

In order to make this happen I will have to stop my nightly wine drinking and tv watching and actually get my big ass to bed and then up early in the morning. Just typing it is enough to make me realize it's a bad idea.

Alas. It's time to shit or get off the pot. Stay tuned.

You can't eat it, you can't fuck it and it won't get you into heaven

That was Mickey Rourke's response to Bahbwa WaWa when she asked him what winning the Oscar would mean to him. (I'm just watching it tonight) OK, so now I love him. Mangled face, silver tooth, gay outfits and all. I feel bad for making fun of him and his chihuahua, Loki, who died after 18 years. His dogs truly kept him alive. And I totally understand that because if he had had children during that time in his life he definitely would have killed himself.

Hugh Jackman was voted 2008's sexiest man alive by People magazine. It was rumored he was gay even before I brought it up. I thought I was being original but hellooooo. . . . . his kids are ADOPTED!! OMG, gay gay gay gay. so cute. but gay. Just another example of the liberal mainstream media saying whatever the hell they want regardless of the truth. i.e. OBAMA. Media is talking out its butt about someone they know nothing about. Blah blah blah blah.

At least Mickey seems true to himself, you know? I have been identifying with various celebrities this week (not too much diff from other weeks). I admire Mickey for putting himself out there knowing people are going to make fun of him. He's not stupid; he knows what people are going to say: he obviously doesn't care. Again, I am reminded of myself. Why does everything remind me of myself???

It has been a big step for me to put my blog out there for anyone to read. Beyond my mother and my husband. There is just something about putting your shit out there and saying "here it is!". Don't like it? Oh, Well. Like it? Oh, well.

You can't put any more stock in people that like you versus people who don't. I think I am finally comfortable saying whatever I want and knowing that those who love me won't love me or leave me based on what I say in my blog. Everyone in my life is totally stuck with me by now.

Mama, I NEEEEED YOU!!

Multiple times a day, my sweet 2.75 yr old Lucy, utters the words, "Mama, I NEEEED YOOOUUU!". Perhaps utter is not the right word. Sometimes she bellows. whines. cries. screams. Rarely does she whisper.

Busy with something, I usually respond with, "WHAT do you need, Lucy?" I need YOU, Mama." "Ok, but what do you NEED?" I need YOOOUU!!!!" Sometimes, she calls from the couch as she's watching Dora. Sometimes she yells at me from upstairs. Sometimes she comes to me while I'm on the computer with her arms stretched up as far as they'll go. Half the time I give a big SIGH and say, "Ok, Lucy, you've got me. Now what." "I just need you, Mama," she says as she lays her sweet cheek on my shoulder. Now, if that's not enough to melt me, I don't know what is.

Lucy is my reminder that NOW is the most important time of all. She basically beats me over the head with the fact that all she really needs is ME. Just Me. Now. She doesn't care if the kitchen is clean or if all the laundry is done. She doesn't care if there are dust bunnies and dog hair under the couch. She doesn't care if I'm skinny or have on make up. She just needs ME. To be present. NOW.

It's so easy to get caught up in all the daily STUFF. Just trying to get it all done. For what? So I can do it again tomorrow? So I can feel like I DID something??

This year, I resolve to pay more attention to when my children and husband need ME and focus less on what STUFF I think I need to get done in order to feel like I accomplished something today. I will spend less time on the computer and more time cuddling. I will watch less TV and read more with my children. I will try to enjoy playing that hockey game the boys got for Christmas even though I suck at it. I will have more sex. Yes, that's what I said.

What are you going to do this year?

Quantum Wellness

Oprah had Kathy Freston on her show the other day talking about her new book Quantum Wellness. Most of the things they talked about rang true to me. That being all that body, mind and spirit stuff (she calls them 'pillars'). They also talked about something that I hadn't thought about before and I always love to ponder something new.

There's one wellness practice that Kathy says should be observed above all others. "The mother of all pillars is conscious eating," she says. "It doesn't only make a difference to our own personal health and well-being, but conscious eating means you stay aware of where your food comes from, how the animals are treated and how the environment is affected by the foods that you eat. You take in the energy of whatever went into creating that food." Kathy is a vegan, which means she doesn't eat meat, eggs, or dairy. "Nobody was harmed—that's conscious eating," she says.

Sounds great! I see my children being harmed with me eating that way.

She suggests a 21-day cleanse in the book where you give up
* Sugar
* Alcohol
* Caffeine
* Gluten
* Animal products

That's pretty much my entire diet. Sounds pretty impossible. But I like her point about being realizing your attachment to certain foods and letting your mood be ruled by those attachments. I really do think it would be beneficial for me to address those issues in my own life.

So Oprah is doing the 21-day cleanse and blogging about it. After three days she has been completely satisfied feasting on vegan dishes such as asparagus "cream" soup, strawberry rhubarb wheat free crepes and an eggless quiche. Other suggested recipes include Tempeh Scallopini with Madeira Peppercorn Sauce, Artichoke and Oyster Mushroom Rockafeller and Cajun-Seared Portobello Fillets with Avocado Cream. Ok, that all sounds yucky great but I really can't see myself juggling those recipes while preparing our normal fare of chicken nuggets and bagel bites.

But I am thinking about trying it and blogging along with Oprah. I'm not sure what would be the hardest to give up. . . wine. . . lattes. . . Jimmy Dean Lite breakfast sandwiches . . pizza. . . morning coffee . . cheese . . wine . . . oh, I already said that. I definitely think its going to make me crazy worth a try. But I'm still just thinking about it as I drink my coffee with caramel creamer. Oh yeah, and I need to find a personal chef to whip up those delicious recipes.

How To Grow Amidst The Bullshit

One of my challenges as a mother is to not take all of the shit my kids do personally. I ask nicely once . . . twice . . I go closer and cup their sweet little faces, resisting the urge to squeeze their cheeks together until their pretty eyes pop out . . and say it again. But when they continually stand there with their heads up their ass with no concept of time even though we do the same freaking routine EVERY morning . . my head starts to spin and these vile words come out of my mouth. THEN the little bastards are listening, aren't they?!

So much for not being sarcastic . . just wait, the personal growth part is coming: )

So, how do I use these frustrating situations for personal growth? I can't put my head in the pantry and meditate because we have to get to school, and SOON. Mr. Tolle doesn't have three kids and two dogs so how does he know? If all I had to do was go to the mountains and be one with nature things would seem much easier.

So, I'm supposed to be ONE WITH THE SITUATION. Don't resist it. Don't make it about me and my mothering skills. Focus on the moment as it is, not as a means to an end. If I'm busy trying to get to the next moment, thing or place then I'm not present. Believe it or not, it works! I have been very aware of when I am not present. Even if I don't feel like I can really be present in the moment, just being aware of that is remarkably enlightening.

I think children are so good at being Present that it is frustrating for the rest of us that are caught up in the dysfunction of what we call life. We perpetuate our dysfunction long enough until they are ready to join the insane, adult world.

Can I stop my own madness?

Thursday Thirteen - 5th Edition

Thirteen Questions 1. What are you afraid of? 2. What gives you joy? 3. What are you waiting for? 4. Can you go a whole day without complaining? A week? 5. How many things can you do today out of pure love and kindness? 6. Have you created the life that you really want for yourself? 7. If not, do you take responsibility for that or blame someone else? 8. Do you live your life on purpose or just let it happen to you? 9. When is the last time you really had FUN? 10. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. How are you using yours? How often do you use the excuse that you "don't have time"? 11. Do you smile first or wait for the other person? 12. When hugging someone, are you the first or last to let go? 13. What do you love about yourself?

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