Friday, September 3, 2010

Funky Fresh Friday

I do realize that the themed, day of the week topics are a bit cheesy but it does motivate me to write so.....who cares. I could've done Fuck You Friday but I resisted. That would be soooooo unoriginal. I haven't said Fuck You to anyone [out loud] in a really long time. I've been having the urge to say it to my neighbor lately because he's a douche. I feel it a coming.

But, that's not the topic! I am more funky than fresh right now. I'll just let you wonder about that.

How cute is this website?? Love it! Funky and fresh! Carolyn's Kitchen

Love this apron! Pretty sure I don't need the garter. I definitely always wear clothes under my apron as well. Would not use the gloves but still think they're cute.

Note to men reading this matter how cute & hip, I wouldn't buy this for your lady. If my mom or sister-in-law gave it to me, even with the garter, I would be amused and love it and think it was sooooooo cute. If my husband got it for me, especially with the garter, I'd think "WTF do you think I am? Some whore that cooks for you? What? I don't look good enough already while I cook all your meals and wash your clothes? I need to wear an apron with a fucking garter too?! Fuck You. I ain't cookin' no more. You go give this to your Chinese girlfriend with the small hands. I bet she'll wear it while she "give you happy ending". Then ask her for an egg roll because your missus said 'So solly Missa Brooks, I no cook tonight."

Just kidding. That was a joke, people. I crack myself up with my "Missa Brooks" routine. I don't think Chad thinks it's as funny. Don't make fun of people who speak broken English, he says. She's just trying to make a living. Whatever. I know he wishes most of half the time I didn't speak English. He'll never admit it, but I know. So solly, Missa Brooks, but you know me love you long time :-)


Connie said...

Wondering why I don't see that apron? Or if I need to with your description. And, as wrong as it may be, I crack up with your Missa Brooks routine and I know I haven't really heard it all. Boy, you're on a roll today.

Sarah in Disturbia said...

You don't see that apron cuz Missa Brooks too smart to buy me that shit! One of the many reasons I love him long time :-)

Anonymous said...

How did I miss this little rant? Very clever. And I do enjoy your Chinese massage parlor girl routine - and the girls at the parlor actually find it hilarious! Love you!!!!