WTF Wednesday: My Strange Addiction

Ok, if you're having a bad day, feeling like a loser, feeling like you don't fit in or just simply feeling like other chicks don't quite understand your search for the perfect natural eye shadow palette, your excitement over holiday gift sets with super cool eyeliner and shadow flavors (that you gave to yourself) or the urge to rub Doritos & blue cheese all over your body then you should take the time to watch TLC's show My Strange Addiction. Is this show a big hoax? I'm wondering if they are just fucking with us. I keep looking over my shoulder thinking one of those Candid Cameras is secretly watching me and soon everyone will jump out and howl "Bwahahahahahahahah! You actually believed that shit?!"

I'm quite sure I can't do these freak show weirdos justice with my simple recounting of the show. I can't even believe they define these behaviors as an addiction. Drinking and drugging are addictions. Shopping and gambling. Addictions.

Excerpts from the show:

"My name is Adele. My addiction is eating couch cushions." She's been doing it for 20 years. She's had bowel obstructions. She thinks it's to the point she needs to seek therapy. After 20 years. She thinks her 'addiction' may have something to do with her parents getting a divorce when she was young. Her therapist suggests, with a straight face, that she may be "stuffing" her feelings down.




"My name is Lauren . My addiction is wearing fur suits." She has a 'fursona'. She jogs in her fur suit. She does just about everything in her fur suit. She got her boyfriend into it. He loves it. She doesn't think it's weird. She doesn't have sex in it. Yet. Yeah right. She thinks it might have something to do with her dad dying. Her mom thinks she should maybe see a therapist.

Really?? Oh my goodness gracious. I just don't even know what to say. To put it mildly, these people are just plain beyond fucked up.

Previews for tonight's show highlight a guy that "thinks it's just a matter of time before people start choosing a synthetic option." He's talking about for a girlfriend. For sex. Companionship. Yeeeaaahhhh. Don't cha think if men could have found a pussy that was worth it and didn't talk back they would all have it in the closet by now?? Or do they......??

Tasty Tuesday

With the Steelers going to the Super Bowl Baby it's time to think about party food. Super Bowl worthy food. Time to take it up a notch. My dear friend Kim has graciously decided to host a Super Bowl party. I voted to have a Qdoba taco bar to make things easy on her. I still can't help but think about what other cheesy, greasy items we might add to the menu.

No party is complete without some sort of ball shaped appetizer. Especially a Super Bowl party. Sausage balls anyone? I'm not sure if it would be worth it to take the time to shape these piglet nuggets into footballs or not. You could pipe the laces on with mustard?? Here's the basic recipe I found on many websites:

Ingredients:
1 pound ground pork sausage
2 cups biscuit baking mix
1 pound sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded

Directions
1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2.In a large bowl, combine sausage, biscuit baking mix and cheese. Form into walnut size balls and place on baking sheets.
3.Bake in preheated oven for 10 minutes, until golden brown.

Can you ever go wrong with a 1:1 ratio of sausage to cheese? I'm guessing you'd brown the sausage first?? Recipes don't say. Might be too dry tho if the sausage was cooked so it must be uncooked. Gross. I hate to handle raw sausage. I bet my mom has made these before. She'll let us know. I would be tempted to add some onion and garlic salt, maybe green chiles. Knowing me I'd find a way to sneak in some blue cheese too. I would definitely use Uncle Charley's spicy sausage as it is the bomdigity of sausage. Some kind of a mustard dipping sauce sounds delightful don't you think?

Paula Dean's Hot Spinach Artichoke Dip . I've always wanted to make this. Feb 6 just may be the lucky day.







Gotta have the football Oreos!










Football Meatloaf?! Hello??!! Maybe not for the party but I'm making it this week for the kids for sure! Although some mini buns with a sweet & spicy ketchuppy sauce could make a tasty football meatloaf slider. Hmmmmm.....











Incidentally, I'm watching the Biggest Loser as I type this post. Not quite sure how I feel about that. Mostly this show inspires me to snack as I'm not that fucking fat... yet. Then it makes me feel like a loser because if these chubbies can work out that hard and stick to their diets then I have no excuse whatsoever. Or do I.......

What's Up Homies??

I'm feelin' the urge to blog! Partly because my creative side has been lying (laying?) dormant for way too long. Partly because I have the urge to scream WTF???? Partly because I've had 3 glasses of wine.

I want to vent without being judged and without anyone taking it personally. Is that possible?? That sounds like nirvana to me. I have spent my entire life fearing the people I love will not like me if I spew what's in my head. Honestly, sometimes they don't. Is it possible to say what you think without anyone taking it personally?? Don't we all know by now that what we say has everything to do with us and nothing to do with YOU? Thus, the desire for an anonymous blog. Of course, that leaves those of you in my life wondering WTF do I want to say. Well, if I told you I'd have to kill you :-) Or vice versa.

I often feel like I'm walking through life smiling, hugging, air kissing, saying "How are you, I'm great! How are YOU?" over and over. I want to be real without complaining. Honestly, I don't have anything to complain about. I want other people to be real, but really real. Not stupid real. I want to be compassionate and empathetic. I also want to say "REALLY, STFU!" I am blessed to have friends & family in my life right now that are smart and honest. You know who you are :-)

I did a quick search for "mom blogs" for Chad today because he wants to target Qdoba advertising through social media to Pittsburgh moms. Free kid's meals on Sundays! Awesome! I was like, "I don't read Mom blogs" as if I was too school for cool. What I did find in my quick search was borrrringgg. I'm not an idiot. I know there are super cool, funny blogs out there. If you love one. Post it. Cuz I didn't find them in my quick search.

I have been searching for my passion for the last, say 39 years. I have yet to discover it. What have I discovered? I love to write. I love attention. I love to cook. I love my kids & my husband. I really think they are so much better than everyone else's. No offense. That has to be something genetic so that we don't kill our own. I must be doing something right because I know I have the best friends right now. I want to eat you all up!! It's true.

I have written many posts over the last few months, never finished or posted. This one is scattered and random, like many others. I might actually post this one. A step in the direction of creativity, honesty, acceptance....