1. Man, I hate the smell of dog poop and the steam coming off of it in the freezing cold . . . but they are efficient little suckers. I don't think a constipated Chihuahua and French Bulldog would be much fun now would they. Good job pooping guys!
2. I really wish I could drug these children so they would just GO TO BED!@#! But on the other hand, maybe I am such a great mom that they just can't get enough of me. What a zest for life these darlings have. Perhaps I should try jumping on the bed. It just might shake that stick out of my ass.
3. If I have to endure any more little people screaming hate words at each other I am going to jump right in and help them scratch each other's eyes out. Now what good would that do? Blind children would be so much more work. Not to mention, these are valuable conflict resolution skills that will serve them well later in life. It is also a perfect opportunity for me to practice the Zen of motherhood. Its about the calm in your heart. . . calm in your heart . . . calm in your heart.
4. Ugh! I am sick of pulling the waistband of my jeans up over my belly when I sit down. Will I ever have a flat stomach again? Of course I will! A little less wine, a lot more exercise and few less Doritos and we'll be playing quarters on my stomach once again. Memories . . . . . . .
5. This Thursday Thirteen thing sucks. I am only on #5 and running out of ideas. NO, this is a great opportunity for me to express myself and although I am drinking wine I am not eating Doritos.
6. The fat between my bra and my waistband that squishes as I sit really grosses me out. This is just a perfect reminder to sit up straight! I have a very womanly figure crying out for me to sit and stand up straight, throw those shoulders back and embrace my femininity. I have a great body and mind!
7. My skin is looking old. These children have aged me dramatically. They really are out to get me and make sure I am chained to them forever. First of all, if I am chained to them forever that is a good thing. They are joyous!! And as long as I moisturize, moisturize, moisturize and take my fish oil supplements my skin looks pretty darn good for my age (36). Every once in awhile I still get ID'd at the liquor store and in dark bars. I embrace my 36 years of life experience and my beautiful family!
8. My house is too big. I can't keep it clean. Nobody cares that all I do is clean up their crap. I have a wonderful, warm house full of things that we all enjoy. I take comfort in knowing that every day while everyone is gone I take a bag of stuff to donate to someone who really needs it.
9. Oh my gosh, my new dryer is shrinking all my jeans. What an expensive piece of sh@#t! Face the music, sister, you are not getting any younger, and that is OK! Discipline is not a dirty word. Self-discipline is a form of compassion. I read that once and fully believe in it.
10. My husband doesn't listen to me and all he wants to do is have sex. . . . Is that negative?? He still thinks you're hot! Embrace it!!
11. Does he really think I'm hot or does he just have no other options? Of course he has other options and of course I'm hot. Does is matter? I'm hot and I really want sex every day. . . want sex every day . . want sex every day. .
12. Two more. I am determined to finish this tonight and figure out how to link it to the thursdaythirteen.com website. I have read the instructions over and over and am confused confused. I can do it. I can do it. I am still smart!!!!
13. I can't think of anymore negative thoughts. I think thats pretty good for a weeks worth of thoughts. I'm sure there were more but this exercise has encouraged me to focus on the positive. I hope it, in some way, encourages you to do the same. Focus on the positive, that is.
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