Life is Short. Life is now.

A women that I knew through neighborhood parties, said hi to in the grocery store and, from the outside, lived a life very similar to mine, passed away last night. She was 39, had three children and a wonderful husband and although seemingly healthy, was diagnosed with leukemia less than 8 months ago.

I had heard about her diagnosis through the grapevine and ran into her in Target once after that. She looked fine to me. I expressed my concern and chatted for maybe a minute. Now she's dead. She's dead with three children at home that are the same age as mine and will grow up without a mother.

I did not follow her condition and heard this morning that she would not live through the weekend. I came home today and read all of the Caring Bridge posts over the last 7 months. I am now intimately aware of how horrific and yet hopeful the last 7 months of her life were. There was such an amazing outpouring of love and support from her family and friends. I feel guilty that I read it all after the fact and did nothing myself to help her or express my support. My heart and entire body aches for her and for her family.

Today I hugged my husband a little tighter and my children a little longer. I lay with my 2 year old at bedtime and she gave me sweet kisses in the dark. I have no idea if my life will be short or long. What I do know is all I have is NOW and I want to make the most of it. I want it to be on purpose. I think I will finally read the book that is referenced in the prior post. And, of course, make more pancakes.

Just Like Any Other Day . . . but with more pancakes

My mother bought me a book awhile ago called Life is a Verb: 37 days to Wake Up, Be Mindful and Live Intentionally. I was familiar with it from a very well written and inspirational blog she introduced to me. The premise is, basically, what would you do if you knew you had only 37 days to live. This is based upon a life experience of the author which you can read about on her blog. My description would pale in comparison. It's a great blog. Check it out.

So, I finally read just the introduction of the book a few weeks ago. After asking the 37 days question she wrote about many responses. One response that I haven't been able to get out of my head went something like (I'm paraphrasing because I have dogs and children in my lap), "the same thing as every other day but with more pancakes".

My children often ask for pancakes for breakfast in the morning before school. My usual response is something along the lines of, "I don't have time, I have lunches to pack; I don't want to mess up the kitchen; How about cereal this morning and pancakes on the weekend?" But ever since I read that intro in the book I have not been able to refuse them pancakes. The truth is, the time it takes me to whip up the pancakes does not compare to the smiles on their faces and the knowing that they are going to school with full bellies, smelling of syrup. I hope that they will remember the pancakes and not necessarily the fact that they were embarrassed that I wore my pajamas to the bus stop.

365 days?

It's December 2. I'm not a big fan of New Year's resolutions yet it is that time of year when one starts to think of such things. It is quite possibly spurred by that turkey, gravy, dressing, coconut cream pie coma that I'm just coming out of. I can't seem to get the healthy, fit & balanced mantra out of my head during these last days of 2008. That is a good thing. If only it would stick.

And you? What is playing in your head? Are you thinking of all you can eat or drink during the month of December because you are going to resolve to lose it in 2009? Don't kid yourself, compadre. Are you too stressed about gift giving to think about next year's resolutions? Don't stress. Giving should be purely about joy, not obligation (although I strongly disapprove of the word 'should'). I am proud to have eliminated that stress from my life. I love to give and that is the only reason I do it. If nothing jumps out at me to give you then, well, you probably won't get anything.

I've been toying with the idea of resolving to post something every day during 2009. I love to write. It is a great outlet for me. I wouldn't want it to be a chore. However, sometimes those types of challenges are necessary for growth. I've also been thinking about a real resolution to be a vegetarian in the new year. That would be a great challenge and something I truly believe in. I think it would be the perfect thing to take me outside of my comfort zone. It's not really a challenge if it's not outside your comfort zone, right?

I would love to hear the resolutions that would push you outside of your comfort zone.

I am also really excited about the new Bachelor starting January 5!!! Totally in my comfort zone. I will snack on only vegetarian snacks while I watch it : )

What to Write?

I've been feeling my blog calling me lately but I have no idea what to write about. So this is me just writing and figuring that nobody is really reading it right now.

I sliced the shit out of my fingers today while trying to add some sort of vegetable (seedless cucumbers) to the Burger King chicken nuggets my children were devouring. Don't you love seedless cucumbers? Really. I love them. With dairy free dill dressing. My fingers hurt like hell though. Sweet Lucy tried to fix them up with all sorts of band aids. "Poor Mama", she said. Meanwhile the boys were laughing about all the blood and elbowing each other about how it must have really hurt since I cursed. "I cursed? What did I say?" I said. In unison they replied, "SHIT". Oh, yeah, well it really fucking hurt. At least I didn't say that. I also resisted the urge to call them ungrateful jackasses. That's being a good mom right there.

Speaking of dairy free, I've been eating meat and dairy all day, every day. As Henry said, "that vegetarian thing's not working out very well is it?" I am still very aware that I want to eat a meat free diet but my intention and action are just not matching up yet. Oh well. Viva la turkey!

I'm still a little depressed about Obama winning. I won't go in to it, but I am.

I got my 2ND of 3 laser skin treatments today. So excited about that. I can't wait to show before and after pictures. I can't tell any difference so far but soon . . . . the pictures will tell.

I am hosting my first cookie exchange party in a couple of weeks. I have invited a bunch of random people who don't know each other and I'm really excited about it because I really like all of the people that are coming. It's too bad none of them read my blog. They might be flattered.

Last but not least, I am wearing new jeans today that I LOVE. Noone noticed how good my ass looked today but it did. I was asked to model them at a Newcomers Meeting, a group that I just joined in my new neighborhood. I really think they asked me because I'm new and eager. I almost embraced the modeling thing but not really. I haven't quite channelled my AMNTM persona yet. That's American' Next Top Model for anyone who's actually reading this. The jeans are IT brand. And I am IT. as in the shIT. Just kidding. Oh what the hell. I am the shit. As far as you know.

Mulligatawny Spicy Soup

This recipe is from vegcooking.com. I have not tried it yet but it sounds like a wonderful fall soup full of flavors that are sure to excite the palate. My initial thoughts upon reading the recipe would be to substitute lite coconut milk for the soy milk and coconut extract. I will use vegetable stock (not water) and canned, diced tomato instead of fresh.

This spicy, guilt-free dish will warm your stomach. Knowing it’s meat-free will warm your heart.

1 1/2 cups chopped onion
1 celery stalk, chopped
1 small chili, seeded and chopped (or a pinch of cayenne, to taste)
1 tsp. turmeric
1 Tbsp. ground coriander seeds
4 cups water or stock
1 cup soy milk
1/2 tsp. salt
1 medium carrot, chopped
1 large potato, cut into small cubes
1 medium red or green bell pepper, chopped
1 firm tomato
1/2 tsp. coconut extract (optional)
2-4 Tbsp. fresh lemon or lime juice
2 tsp. chopped fresh cilantro (optional)

• In a medium soup pot, saute the onions and celery in a little broth or water.
• When the onions are translucent, add the chili, turmeric and ground coriander. Saute for a minute, stirring to prevent the spices from burning. Add the water or stock, soy milk, salt, carrot and potato. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 10 minutes.
• Add the pepper, tomato and coconut extract. Simmer gently for another 10 minutes or until the vegetables are tender.
• Then add the lemon or lime juice and cilantro.

Serve at once or let sit for an hour or so to bring out the flavors and then reheat gently and serve.

Taxes Simplified

This is an example that I was forwarded in an email. I thought it was appropriate to share.

Tax system explained in terms of beer - to give you some perspective:

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes, so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so,
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 ( 22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man," but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!"

"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back
when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We
didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia

For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not
understand, no explanation is possible

P.S. If Obama is elected we have told the children that we are moving to Costa Rica.

How do you think we got here?

Someone asked me recently "Well how do you think we got here?!" referring to the current economic crisis. This person obviously thought it was the fault of republicans. I disagreed. Take the time to watch this video and the next one and then tell me how you think we got here.


TIP: click the button on the bottom of the video (next to the volume control) to view full screen


another very informative and distubing video . . . this one especially should be viewed full screen.

A Timely Joke

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.
She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level, at 31 degrees, 14.
97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”

“I am,” replied the man.
“How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost.
Frankly, you've not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist,
“How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don't know where you are or where you are going.
You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it's my fault.”

Are You a Donkey or an Elephant

I took the The Republican Loyalty Quiz
10 Questions to Test Your Allegiance to the GOP

The results were:

"Your score was 8 on a scale of 1 to 10. You are a devoted Republican. You are quick to rally behind the party, even if you have not agreed with every decision Republican leaders have made. The few differences you have are nothing compared to your complete and utter disdain for the Democratic Party and the elitism, cowardice, and godlessness for which it stands."


Don't be a JackassTake your own political party loyalty quiz HERE.

Obama: Without the Teleprompter

I am a McCain/Palin supporter. I am not one to dog the opponent although opportunities do abound. This post is in response to my mother's post where she is obviously disturbed by a previous Palin interview. Everyone has faults. Obama is a fine person but unelectable in my opinion.



And another . .

Conservative or Liberal

You scored 71% which means you are

 

conservative.

You believe in personal responsibility, limited government, free markets, individual liberty, traditional American values and a strong national defense. Believe the role of government should be to provide people the freedom necessary to pursue their own goals.

Conservative or Liberal
Take More Quizzes

Love my new Keurig!!

I retired my Senseo with the old house and purchased a Keurig Home Brewing System for the new house. I love it!! Why, you ask? Well, first I just love to get new kitchen gadgets. Besides that, it has a bazillion choices for coffee, tea and hot cocoa. No mess. I like the coffee better than the Senseo. I didn't really dig the frothy European thing.

Juleah, you would love it!!

Yard Sale Update

I meant to take a picture of all my junk that was left over at the end of the weekend but instead I just packed it all up, left it for the VVA to pick up and hightailed it outta there . . . . to the new house. Ahhhhhh. Where everything's better.

We made about $150. That's a lot of work for $150 but I had to get the stuff out of the house anyway so it's much better than nothing. However, I still have a whole hell of a lot of stuff to clear out. Ugh!! It will be all over by Aug 29. I think I can. . . I think I can. . . I think I can. . .I think I can.

Yard Sale

I'm stuck now. I posted neon signs all over my neighborhood that I'm having a "moving sale". I hate yard sales. Most people I know love them. Instead of blogging, I should be organizing my shit but I just can't get motivated. Do you think I could just charge a $2 admission and let people go through my house while I drink my coffee and take what they want?? It's got to be worth a lot just to get people to take my stuff away without me having to do anything.

We've pretty much got everything we need in the new house. The rest of this stuff is just a pain in my side. How did I end up with so much STUFF??!! I think I need to do some serious soul searching regarding this issue. The good thing is that I don't want to take any of it with me. The less the better.

We've had a couple of people that work for us come by and take what they want. I am so glad to give it to people we know that really want/need it but now my big ticket items are gone which means my yard sale is going to be pretty boring. Whatever. The kids will be in heaven to sell their stuff and I know our good, useful stuff has already gone to people who can really use it.

My First Time Tagged

I have been tagged by NurseExec, one of my new favorite bloggers. She's honest and flawed, two of my favorite qualities. It's my first time to be tagged for anything and I'm so excited! Not to mention this is honest to God proof that someone besides my mother reads my blog.

Six Unspectacular Things About Me is the topic. I know what you're thinking. I am just so fucking spectacular that this could take me all night.

First you post the rules:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules on your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks you possess.
4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger’s blogs letting them know they’ve been tagged.

Here's my list:

1. I can't stand it when people drink my water, mostly at home. My children could be dying of thirst and I growl "GET YOUR OWN WATER!" I always have a full glass on the kitchen counter so I can make sure I get my required ounces. Everyone in the house, big and small, will walk in the kitchen and, rather than get their own damn glass, drink mine!! How hard is it to open the cabinet and get your own glass and, imagine this, fill it up. Now they all know it pisses me off so they drink it on purpose. They're out to get me.
   
   


2. I have the most horrendous, stinky gas. All the time. I can't control it. It doesn't seem to matter what I eat. healthy or not. I think by the time I'm an old women I'm going to be exiled to some far away place. I am a cute girl. I take care of myself. Not that it should matter but I think it's my cuteness that has kept me from being exiled so far. It's just weird. It's really a problem. Any advice out there???
   
   


3. I compulsively pick at the skin on my fingers and toes. Also really gross and not compatible with my cuteness.
   
   


4. I can count on my two hands the number of periods I've had in the last 8 years. I've had three children and I have an IUD which has the side effect of no periods. It's completely healthy. It's awesome.
   
   


5. The only television I like to watch these days are reality shows. I do like Grey's Anatomy but my absolute favorites are America's Next Top Model, The Bachelor or Bachelorette, Rock of Love, Denise Richards- It's Complicated (which it's not btw), on and on and on. I have not been able to get in to Pamela Anderson's new show though. She should be exiled to a remote island where they send all the other big boobie sex addicts.
   
   


6. I love really gross things like puss and blood and things like that. As long as it's not stinky or too too yucky. I love to pop zits. Any time my kids get a scrape I can't wait to put peroxide on it and watch all the bubbles. I love to play doctor with my razor sharp tweezers when someone gets a splinter. One of my absolute favorites was when my son had a spider bite on his knee. Swollen. Painful. We put hot compresses on it frequently to draw the infection out. You could tell it was full of nasty stuff but every time I tried to squeeze it he would scream in pain. whatever. finally, when he was running and playing one evening it burst and exploded all over his leg. awesome.

Tag You're IT!!

1. Connie (my mom)
2. Motherhood for Dummies
3. Juleah (my sister-in-law)
4. Natalie
5. Nap Warden
6. Unfortunately, I don't have many followers so I can't think of anyone else to tag.

How to Look Good Naked

I love this freaking show!! It is crazy how Carson can change the perception of women's bodies in like 5 days. Carson is able to stroke any big 'ol thigh or big 'ol booty and all of a sudden women love themselves and are able to see their worth. They believe him, and well they should.

I won't go in to how many women's worth is tied up in their body image. That issue is just f*cked up and I don't have the time or inclinaton to go in to it. It is obvious when you watch the show. If you don't have this issue, you are in the minority.

As far as the show, I would really like to just do the part where they take you into a room, in your underwear, and have you pick your body double and then realize you're not as fat as you think you are. That is the always the biggest perception changer. Most of us apparently think we are bigger than we actually are and, at a minimum, don't realize how attractive we are at our own size.

In the back of my dysfuctional head I would always think they were just f*cking with me for ratings but I'm not on the show so it doesn't matter. I just have my 6 & 7 yr old boys to give me their honest opinions. They are brutal but honest. And I love them for it.

Lucy doesn't suck her thumb anymore

For the last 2 yrs, every time Lucy held that bunny her thumb went in her mouth. I loved it. Oh, so cute. A few weeks ago I noticed she wasn't sucking her thumb anymore so I started paying more attention. I haven't seen her suck it for a loooong time. I think she's done. Everyone I mention it to says, "Oh, that's great!". It just makes me sad. My baby is growing up too fast.

Morgan & Milo

Morgan & Milo. Just about the cutest shoes I've ever seen for little girls. I showed restraint by buying two pairs that were on SALE: )

These lovelies (size 7.5) immediately went on Lucy's feet and were worn for the rest of the day. We both loved them and so did random people on the street. She was so proud to tell people that they were new and that her mom got them for her. That's all I ask. A little gratitude.








and these cuties which are a size 8; a little big so we're saving them for school.









Lastly, I splurged on a this pair of boots that were not on sale. Also a size 8 so will be saved for the Fall/Winter. I can't stand how cute she is in these. A little big but as soon as fall arrives we will wear them any way.









Lucy and I both absolutely adored these shoes. I would have purchased them even though not on sale but they were out of her size. Bummer.









She was even more excited about all the new shoes than I was. She couldn't tear open the box quick enough when it arrived. Such a relief not to have to buy those booorrrring boys shoes all the time.

Tofurky Kielbasa

I was really trying to feel moved and inspired to write something profound and introspective today. In general, I feel conflicted and overwhelmed and self-destructive, aware of all of it but still not inspired to write about it. I guess if you are trying to feel inspired then you're probably not going to be really inspired.

I was moved by my mother's post today and the posts on 37 days but the one thing that I can't get out of my head is this . . . Tofurky Kielbasa. Even the raccoons don't want it.

I tried the above veggie sausage and after eating it twice just couldn't embrace it so I pitched it. Invariably, when I take the trash outside there are empty packages on the ground of things formerly in the trash that I couldn't believe any animal would want, starving or otherwise. Those little fuckers must be desperate I often mutter to myself.

Well, today I was taking out the trash and noticed the package of my remaining Tofurky Kielbasa sausages on the ground. dirty but ALL still there. Are you f*cking kidding me?! Even the raccoons won't eat it?? They'll eat rotten hamburger but not my Tofurky kielbasa? For the record, I really like typing and saying Tofurky.

That's it. No metaphor for life. Just Tofurky Kielbasa. Even the raccoons don't want it.

Seitan

I finally tried seitan, pronounced say-tan, which I purchased at Whole Foods. It is a chewy, neutral-flavored, protein-rich food made of wheat gluten, used as a meat substitute in vegetarian dishes. It is sometimes referred to as "wheat-meat".

Most of the meat substitutes I have purchased at our local grocery store contain TVP, textured vegetable protein. I haven't minded the taste of the TVP products but have found it gives me monster gas. Seriously bad. Plus, those products are pretty processed. Still better than processed dead animals though.

The seitan had a much nicer texture than the fake beef crumbles and fake chicken strips, tasted better and so far noone has kicked me out of bed. Unfortunately, I can only buy it at Whole Foods. It is fairly simple, but time consuming to make from scratch. As soon as we move I'll make some in my new fabulous kitchen!