Hiatus

It's obvious I haven't posted in awhile. I am officially taking an extended hiatus.....for many reasons. I won't say just yet that I'm done with this blog but that is what I'm thinking. I have all but three readers so it's not like this is earth shattering news or that I can't tell you myself next time I talk to you. But there it is. Sayonara for now, compadres!! It's been real.

Versatile Blogger

Connie, my mom, has awarded me this award:

To accept this award I have to:

* reveal 7 truths about myself
* select 7 blogs that I would like to share the award with

So here are my seven truths:

1. I like to swear. A lot. I always have and I don't know why, but I do. Besides the occasional outburst , I do a decent job of not swearing in front of my kids. As long as they don't fuck up we're in pretty good shape.

2. I am immensely blessed and eternally grateful for my healthy, beautiful family.

3. I am a procrastinator.

4. I never played sports but wished I had. I know, I know, it's never to late. STFU.

5. I love nifty electronic gadgets. iPad, iPod Touch, smart phones, etc. Unfortunately, they do not help with my procrastination issues.

6. I love realty tv. And my DVR.

7. I am not a good housekeeper. Probably because I spend too much time playing with my nifty electronic gadgets and watching tv :-)

7 Blogs I'd like to see participate:

Simple Living with a Dash of Chaos

Hmmm, I'm pretty much a blog stalker so I'm not sure I have seven to suggest. I'll go ahead and post and think on it.

Tasty Tuesday

I don't have a tasty recipe to post today but I do have a tease..... I bought Reese's peanut butter cups and Dove chocolate caramel squares today. I am going to shove both of these tasty nuggets in my gorgeous dark chocolate cupcake batter and see what happens. I have never tried this. I once tried putting a dollop of ganache on top of this batter before I baked it but it did not sink and thus did not bake well. I have another recipe that a dollop of ganache works very well with but the cupcake is ultimately not as good as my original recipe. My gut is that I should pipe in a caramel filling after the cupcake is baked because I am concerned about the caramel filling hardening after baking. I am going to try a few different methods while my dear sister-in-law is here to be a taste tester. I will post the results!!

Note: the Reese's peanut butter cup is just a basic chocolate & peanut butter combination that must be tried. The best chocolate cupcake with the perfect peanut butter inside sounds delightful. Will it bake up so? No idea.

Manic Monday

I just realized it was Monday! That's an extraordinary thing. This Monday was Not Manic. At all. Lucy and I went to see Nanny McPhee Returns. I saw the first one with the boys. She didn't. I didn't love that one but she was sure she would love this one so off we went. It was actually the first time she and I had gone to see a movie by ourselves, just the two of us. That was nice. We ate at the new Qdoba right next door after the movie. Yum. Very relaxing, uneventful day :-)

Funky Fresh Friday

I do realize that the themed, day of the week topics are a bit cheesy but it does motivate me to write so.....who cares. I could've done Fuck You Friday but I resisted. That would be soooooo unoriginal. I haven't said Fuck You to anyone [out loud] in a really long time. I've been having the urge to say it to my neighbor lately because he's a douche. I feel it a coming.

But, that's not the topic! I am more funky than fresh right now. I'll just let you wonder about that.

How cute is this website?? Love it! Funky and fresh! Carolyn's Kitchen

Love this apron! Pretty sure I don't need the garter. I definitely always wear clothes under my apron as well. Would not use the gloves but still think they're cute.

Note to men reading this blog.....no matter how cute & hip, I wouldn't buy this for your lady. If my mom or sister-in-law gave it to me, even with the garter, I would be amused and love it and think it was sooooooo cute. If my husband got it for me, especially with the garter, I'd think "WTF do you think I am? Some whore that cooks for you? What? I don't look good enough already while I cook all your meals and wash your clothes? I need to wear an apron with a fucking garter too?! Fuck You. I ain't cookin' no more. You go give this to your Chinese girlfriend with the small hands. I bet she'll wear it while she "give you happy ending". Then ask her for an egg roll because your missus said 'So solly Missa Brooks, I no cook tonight."

Just kidding. That was a joke, people. I crack myself up with my "Missa Brooks" routine. I don't think Chad thinks it's as funny. Don't make fun of people who speak broken English, he says. She's just trying to make a living. Whatever. I know he wishes most of half the time I didn't speak English. He'll never admit it, but I know. So solly, Missa Brooks, but you know me love you long time :-)

Dark Chocolate Salted Caramel Cupcakes

I have been dreaming and salivating for awhile over the thought of a Dark Chocolate Salted Caramel Cupcake. I made a devine, if I do say so myself, cookie by the same name for my 2009 holiday cookie exchange. It's been 90+ degrees all week. Too hot to bake. It's supposed to cool off this weekend and I am dying to try a new, self concocted recipe (the very best kind)! Stay stuned!!

I have a couple of good options for the chocalate cupcake part. I'll put a rolo in the middle. Certain recipes accept a dollop in the batter better than others. Another option is to pipe caramel filling into my normal dark chocolate cupcake. I would definitely like your thoughts on the frosting. I'll sprinkle/coat the frosting in a sugar/sea salt mixture like I did the cookie. Should the frosting be a typical chocolate buttercream? A richer chocolate ganache? A combination of chocolate, caramel buttercream? A chocolate buttercream with caramel drizzle and sugar/sea salt sprinkle? I'm leaning towards chocolate ganache with sugar/seat salt sprinkle. Although who can resist caramel drizzle. Hello! So many options. Please let me know what makes your mouth water. I am excited about this cupcake!

Why Didn't I Think of That Thursday?

Hmmmm.... I wanted to just do Tasty Tuesday a bit late but I've had this topic in mind so I wanted to come up with something. Plus, Chad's not home yet so I still have the laptop :-)

Confession time. The woman I most envy right now is The Pioneer Woman. I love her blog!! I admire her. I think she's funny. I think she's smart. I wonder why I didn't think of all that stuff that she does. I could have done that! Right? But I didn't. So, I feel like a loser. Don't tell Pioneer Woman. She would disapprove. I just want to get my shit together and do something!!! Ugh. What is my problem!!

WTF Wednesday

So, I've had a request from the people......WTF have you been doing for the past week? Why haven't you blogged? What happened to Tasty Tuesday? Why Didn't I Think of That Thursday? Fun Friday?

Well, I don't like blogging on my iPad. Besides the fact that I can't type at my normal lightening speed I can't figure out how to upload a darn picture! On my desktop I can save a picture and then easily upload it. On the iPad I can save a picture but can't figure out how to upload it to the blog. Drives me nuts.

Why can't I blog on my desktop, you may be thinking. Well, the desktop crashed a bajillion times. I'm sure if it wasn't completely fucked already I finished it off by repeatedly unplugging and restarting it. I moved on to the backup laptop but the keyboard was all jacked up and not working at all. Fucking kids. I took both computers, which are not old, to Kevin, the computer guy. I called to check on them today. He said they were both working perfectly for him! WTF???? He did witness the jacked upness of the laptop when I dropped it off so he doesn't think I'm crazy.

In the meantime I've been using Chad's brand new laptop when he's not looking. Shhhhhh. However, I've only been doing real important stuff like hockey manager spreadsheets, planning a pre-season hockey party for 50 people and organizing half-time oranges for football. Next week is the first general PTA meeting (for which I'm already VP) so someone better tie my hands to keep me from volunteering for more shit like homeroom mom, library, math & science fair........ I think I'm trying to prove that having kids hasn't turned me into the fucking retard I feel like half the time. I'm showing them alright. Whomever they are.

Manic Monday

Great day! Not manic at all. I bounded out of bed at 6am. I scooted those little goblins onto the bus for their first day of school and basked in a bicker-free environment for the rest of my day..... Not free of whining because I had Lucy but it was still music to my ears. I don't even think she realizes she's whining at this point. Whaaaaaattttteeeeeevvvverrrr!!

By the time the boys got off the bus I had baked brownies, bagel bites & pizza to welcome them home. They bounded off the bus with smiles. Hooray!!

Apparently Sam's teacher is the Goddess of all Children. She has 6 biological children, one with special needs and another that recently had a liver transplant. She's in the process of adopting two more with special needs. WELL......... I said, "Did you mention you had FOUR cavities and I dealt with it in stride! I had them filled right away! And with the white stuff, not the trashy silver stuff. Yeah! Did you put that in your "me bag" to take to school tomorrow?

I bet she had a crock pot going all day making pot roast or some shit. I've decided if I make brownies & pizza when they get home from school then that's their dinner! Seriously? I suggested Chad have a burrito. Duh.

Background

I've been trying many different backgrounds so please comment on whatever one you see. Like? Dislike? Distracting? Not me? Me? I don't feel like I've found the perfect one yet. Describe the one you're seeing since I'm changing it left and right.

Funday Sunday

Holy hell I am tired! I got up with Sam today at 6am for hockey and have been running ever since. Both boys had their first football game today. That was super fun to watch but also exhausting since that meant four straight hours of little people football. Just how many hours is one person supposed to be able to resist the concession stand walking taco or nachos grande?? I better get used to it because it runs until the end of October.

My belly laugh moment of the day came as Henry was filling out his 3rd grade paperwork during Sam's football game. When asked by his teacher "If I had a million dollars I would buy...", he responded, "I'd buy a new butt, cuz mine has a crack in it." I've been laughing ever since.

Birthday Cupcakes

I made two dozen of these for my friend's daughter that is turning 12. She's taking them for her soccer team whose colors are black & gold. They looked cuter in person. It's really hard to photograph food and make it look good.



These were the ones I made for her birthday last year that she also took for her soccer team.

WTF Wednesday

It's not quite midnight so it's not too late for WTF Wednesday. At the beginning of the day I had no idea if I would have anything to write about on this topic. Who the fuck was I kidding?

I don't normally get stressed out about stuff. I'm a pretty laid back chick if you know what I mean. And if you don't, I just mean I don't give a fuck about a lot of shit. It's late..... I think I may swear more late at night. I'm usually in bed by 10pm. It's 11:30pm. Why, you ask, am I up so late? Because at some point, some time I thought it would be a good idea to make cupcakes for money. Conclusion: I should only make cupcakes because I enjoy it. Not for the money.

I made these beauties for a friend of mines husband to take to work to thank somebody for something. They turned out pretty cute. This first picture was taken on my kitchen counter. Not the best background but I didn't have a plate big enough. By the way, why do children have the urge to fucking touch EVERYTHING!!!! When they were babies they touched things to learn. By now they should keep their grubby hands off my shit!! I digress....



This picture is in the cupcake carrier. You can see the colors a bit different. 12 vanilla. 6 chocolate. $40.


I haven't had a cupcake order in I have no idea how long. I still have 2 dozen cupcakes for someone else to decorate for tomorrow!! WTF was I thinking?? Not to mention, Sam's birthday party is tomorrow at Kennywood which means I have to get up early and frost these other cupcakes (picture tomorrow), go pick up bagels & donuts and get a bunch of jacked up kids ready to head to the amusement park by 10am. Smart planning.

Cupcakes are cooling. I just need to finish the frosting. It's the frosting that always pushes me over the edge. I hate making frosting.

And you know what? My kids never want cupcakes for their birthdays. And I never eat the cupcakes. By the time I'm done baking and frosting and saying ever so nicely that I DON'T NEED ANY FUCKING HELP, THANK YOU!!!! I'm tired of looking at cupcakes.

I have to say that when I turned up the music and let it drown out the children's cries for "help" (give me a break) the whole process was quite enjoyable. That and the wine.

Tasty Tuesday: Food I Can't Live Without

One of my favorite, semi-healthy, go-to meals right now is, let's call it, Sarah's Cobb Salad. I can assemble it in less than 5 minutes and I thoroughly enjoy every single bite. Oh so tasty and I feel no guilt because I love it so much. Worth every single calorie.

My most favorite ingredient that I start to panic a bit when I'm almost out of is Galeos Miso Dijonnaise. I love, love, LOVE this salad dressing!!! I would love it even if it were unhealthy but it's actually super healthy! Low calorie, low fat, low sugar, high flavor. Love it!! I can only buy it at Whole Foods which is a pain to get to so I sometimes just order it online so I don't have to go without.

My second favorite and absolutely necessary ingredient is blue (or gorgonzola) cheese. Sometimes I have a big tub from Sam's Club which is adequate but lately I've been splurging on smaller portions of better quality cheese. Totally worth it.

I always buy in bulk mixed greens, real bacon bits & ready to eat chicken strips from Sam's Club so I have never have an excuse for not eating a salad.

My favorite croutons are Rothbury Farms (Cheese Garlic). They have the perfect crunch and seasoning. Other croutons just aren't worth the calories.

If I'm really on the ball I'll have hard boiled eggs & avocado on hand. Bonus but not necessary for pure enjoyment of my salad.

What's your favorite food, meal or recipe this summer?

Manic Monday

So I made up a song and I can't get it out of my head. It goes a little somethin' like this....

SCHOOL STARTS IN 1 WEEK! OH YEAH, Baby!!

I have a little dance that goes with it. The kids think I'm weird. Whatever. Pesky fuckers.

Also part of my Manic Monday was allowing 2 boys to sleep over last night which meant I was yelling at four boys at 11pm instead of just my own two. I did that forgetting I had already invited another boy to come over this morning and play. And then I, of course, invited his sister to stay and play so Lucy wouldn't be the only girl and driving me bananas. That's 7 kids in case you lost count. It was fun. Lots of pancakes, bacon, Gatorade and an extra large pizza. The only time I had to yell was when someone threw an old bottle of Hawaiian Punch on Henry, covering him from head to toe in his white shorts. I let the two girls pee behind a tree at the private school park. That's not bad, right?

All is quiet for the next 10 minutes then it's time to get ready for football. After I drop them off I'm on to my first hockey manager meeting. Should be interesting. Hockey parents can be intense. I shall be a catalyst for calm.

Willie Nelson update

So, Willie was awesome. We got there a bit late because we figured the "family" might be playing so I think we missed some good Willie tunes. The sun was down and there were dark rain clouds overhead so it was comfortably warm. The concert was pretty basic as far as presentation (a huge Texas flag in the background), instruments & musicians which was quite refreshing during a time when so many things are too extravagant and over the top. I envy Willie and his family. They've obviously spent a lifetime following their passion. When will I discover mine?

Willie Nelson & Family Live in Concert

This is what we have planned for the evening. Not sure if I'm a fan of Willie's family or not but I'm guessing at his age he needs all the help he can get.

I've only been to a handful of concerts in my lifetime. My first concert was as a teenager. Def Leppard. I will never forget that one because I wore a homemade, tie dyed dress made out of an XL men's white t-shirt. It was a super hot Oklahoma summer night and Def Leppard was kind enough to hose down all of us screaming teenage girls. As a result, I ended up in a very sheer men's white t-shirt that dyed my underwear the same color as the tie dye. ClassssEY

Other concerts? MC Hammer maybe in college. Or somebody like that. George Straight here in Pittsburgh. Poison here in Pittsburgh. That was fun. I know there are a few others I can't remember right now. Not so memorable I guess. Ok, I'm boring myself.

I am looking forward to tonight's concert as long as it cools off. It's 92 degrees right now and everyone who knows me knows that I won't last more than 5 minutes in heat like that. Cross your fingers. What are the chances I get offered a joint at this concert? Hmmmmm....

Oh, and I meant cross your fingers about the weather not the joint.

I'm Back. Really.

Wholey Moley it's been a long time since I've blogged!! I have missed it. I have actually started many a post over the summer and then abandoned them because either I got interrupted or decided it was going nowhere. I got an ipad for my birthday and that made it it harder to blog because I can't really type fast on it and I don't end up spending much time on a real keyboard because I'm playing games checking email, reading important stuff, etc. on the ipad instead of a PC. And then it had been so long I thought I should have something really important to say once I posted again. But I never really did. And I really want to monetize my blog but the fucking AdSense thing keeps telling me I already have an account but never lets me set up anything. Enough with the excuses. Just as summer ends and another school year begins I am back to tantalize you with the fascinating details of my life. Men will want me. Women will want to be me. Stay tuned.

I'm thinking of having certain topics on specific days of the week to motivate me to write. Like "Tantalize me Tuesday", "Wordless Wednesday" .... things like that. Any ideas from my two loyal readers?

First Official Day of Summer Break

The boys' last day of school was Friday. It was only a half day and they just cleaned out desks and lockers so I'm sure, in their minds, that was the first official day of summer vacation. In my mind it was the last official day of freedom as I knew it. Not necessarily a bad thing; I just have to adjust my schedule and expectations.

Today is Monday, which in my mind is when summer break begins. No waking kids up for school or hounding them to stay off the computer and eat their breakfast. No rushing to finish homework that was forgotten the night before. No frantic searches for missing shoes because it's a gym day and all we can find are Crocs. No stern reminders that they'll have to walk to school if they miss the bus. [Come to think of it, I never actually followed through on that threat. I'll have to come up with something better in the fall.]

Instead it's nearly 8am and Sam is still sleeping. Henry is up but quietly reading a book on the couch with the dogs. Lucy is still sleeping as well because she can't seem to go to sleep at a decent hour with these long summer days. I'll have time to cook the extra thick bacon instead of the precooked microwave kind. We can all stay in our pajamas until at least 10am. We'll start packing for our road trip to Myrtle Beach. Only two more sleeps until we leave!!

Will I be able to get everyone out of the house with no complaining so I can run errands? Possibly. If I bribe them with toys for the upcoming road trip. Will I be asked 67 times if we can go to the pool today? Probably. Will I take them? Probably not. Will we all enjoy the first Monday of summer break? Most definitely.

It's Been Way Too Long!

I can't believe it's been more than one month since I've blogged!

I did, by the way, include bee pollen in a few bowls of oatmeal. I felt extremely itchy/hivey afterwards but I am not convinced it was due to the bee pollen. I also started taking these detox supplements at the same time. Unfortunately, you have to actually eat ultra healthy while taking all those supplements and I just wasn't into it 100% of my days. Healthy oatmeal, YEAH! Blah, blah, blah.

So I stopped taking the supplements. I am going to give the bee pollen a shot again soon when it is the only new thing introduced.

My mom was tagged recently on her blog to list 10 things she loves. She chose not to tag others but I thought I would play along as it is a good topic to get started blogging again.

10 Things I Love

1. My hard working, handsome husband. I love him!!!

2. My beautiful children

3. My wonderful mom who just moved here to spend more time with us!

4. When it's NOT a fucking, pussy snow day.

5. Goat cheese

6. Wine

7. My gorgeous soul mate, Jessica

8. My amazing, inspiring, sister Juleah

9. Getting my nails done every two weeks

10. Long, Uninterrupted hot showers.