WTF Wednesday: My Strange Addiction

Ok, if you're having a bad day, feeling like a loser, feeling like you don't fit in or just simply feeling like other chicks don't quite understand your search for the perfect natural eye shadow palette, your excitement over holiday gift sets with super cool eyeliner and shadow flavors (that you gave to yourself) or the urge to rub Doritos & blue cheese all over your body then you should take the time to watch TLC's show My Strange Addiction. Is this show a big hoax? I'm wondering if they are just fucking with us. I keep looking over my shoulder thinking one of those Candid Cameras is secretly watching me and soon everyone will jump out and howl "Bwahahahahahahahah! You actually believed that shit?!"

I'm quite sure I can't do these freak show weirdos justice with my simple recounting of the show. I can't even believe they define these behaviors as an addiction. Drinking and drugging are addictions. Shopping and gambling. Addictions.

Excerpts from the show:

"My name is Adele. My addiction is eating couch cushions." She's been doing it for 20 years. She's had bowel obstructions. She thinks it's to the point she needs to seek therapy. After 20 years. She thinks her 'addiction' may have something to do with her parents getting a divorce when she was young. Her therapist suggests, with a straight face, that she may be "stuffing" her feelings down.




"My name is Lauren . My addiction is wearing fur suits." She has a 'fursona'. She jogs in her fur suit. She does just about everything in her fur suit. She got her boyfriend into it. He loves it. She doesn't think it's weird. She doesn't have sex in it. Yet. Yeah right. She thinks it might have something to do with her dad dying. Her mom thinks she should maybe see a therapist.

Really?? Oh my goodness gracious. I just don't even know what to say. To put it mildly, these people are just plain beyond fucked up.

Previews for tonight's show highlight a guy that "thinks it's just a matter of time before people start choosing a synthetic option." He's talking about for a girlfriend. For sex. Companionship. Yeeeaaahhhh. Don't cha think if men could have found a pussy that was worth it and didn't talk back they would all have it in the closet by now?? Or do they......??

WTF Wednesday

So, I've had a request from the people......WTF have you been doing for the past week? Why haven't you blogged? What happened to Tasty Tuesday? Why Didn't I Think of That Thursday? Fun Friday?

Well, I don't like blogging on my iPad. Besides the fact that I can't type at my normal lightening speed I can't figure out how to upload a darn picture! On my desktop I can save a picture and then easily upload it. On the iPad I can save a picture but can't figure out how to upload it to the blog. Drives me nuts.

Why can't I blog on my desktop, you may be thinking. Well, the desktop crashed a bajillion times. I'm sure if it wasn't completely fucked already I finished it off by repeatedly unplugging and restarting it. I moved on to the backup laptop but the keyboard was all jacked up and not working at all. Fucking kids. I took both computers, which are not old, to Kevin, the computer guy. I called to check on them today. He said they were both working perfectly for him! WTF???? He did witness the jacked upness of the laptop when I dropped it off so he doesn't think I'm crazy.

In the meantime I've been using Chad's brand new laptop when he's not looking. Shhhhhh. However, I've only been doing real important stuff like hockey manager spreadsheets, planning a pre-season hockey party for 50 people and organizing half-time oranges for football. Next week is the first general PTA meeting (for which I'm already VP) so someone better tie my hands to keep me from volunteering for more shit like homeroom mom, library, math & science fair........ I think I'm trying to prove that having kids hasn't turned me into the fucking retard I feel like half the time. I'm showing them alright. Whomever they are.

WTF Wednesday

It's not quite midnight so it's not too late for WTF Wednesday. At the beginning of the day I had no idea if I would have anything to write about on this topic. Who the fuck was I kidding?

I don't normally get stressed out about stuff. I'm a pretty laid back chick if you know what I mean. And if you don't, I just mean I don't give a fuck about a lot of shit. It's late..... I think I may swear more late at night. I'm usually in bed by 10pm. It's 11:30pm. Why, you ask, am I up so late? Because at some point, some time I thought it would be a good idea to make cupcakes for money. Conclusion: I should only make cupcakes because I enjoy it. Not for the money.

I made these beauties for a friend of mines husband to take to work to thank somebody for something. They turned out pretty cute. This first picture was taken on my kitchen counter. Not the best background but I didn't have a plate big enough. By the way, why do children have the urge to fucking touch EVERYTHING!!!! When they were babies they touched things to learn. By now they should keep their grubby hands off my shit!! I digress....



This picture is in the cupcake carrier. You can see the colors a bit different. 12 vanilla. 6 chocolate. $40.


I haven't had a cupcake order in I have no idea how long. I still have 2 dozen cupcakes for someone else to decorate for tomorrow!! WTF was I thinking?? Not to mention, Sam's birthday party is tomorrow at Kennywood which means I have to get up early and frost these other cupcakes (picture tomorrow), go pick up bagels & donuts and get a bunch of jacked up kids ready to head to the amusement park by 10am. Smart planning.

Cupcakes are cooling. I just need to finish the frosting. It's the frosting that always pushes me over the edge. I hate making frosting.

And you know what? My kids never want cupcakes for their birthdays. And I never eat the cupcakes. By the time I'm done baking and frosting and saying ever so nicely that I DON'T NEED ANY FUCKING HELP, THANK YOU!!!! I'm tired of looking at cupcakes.

I have to say that when I turned up the music and let it drown out the children's cries for "help" (give me a break) the whole process was quite enjoyable. That and the wine.