V is for Vienna Sausages

I used to love those things as a child. That and chewable baby aspirin. Do they still sell baby aspirin?

U is for Universe

I'm working on this one . . .

One of my favorite 13th-century poems

You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust.
You were born with ideals and dreams.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don't.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly.
- Rumi

T is for Thanksgiving

That is so predictable isn't it? This will be a different Thanksgiving than recent years past. We have decided to stay in Pittsburgh and won't have any family visiting us. That is not because we don't wish to see our family as they are always welcome, but we have been very fortunate to see much of them over the past few months. It is nice, actually, to spend time with good friends that we haven't seen since summer. The expectations are different. Not better, but different. This Thanksgiving, the friends that are making the long drive to see us from St. Louis are the Snows.

The Snows are really the only couple (family) that Chad and I both feel really connected to. Greg is a friend from college that Chad admires and has kept in contact with and Jessica, his wife, is someone that I have come to love and connect with over the years. She and I are definitely kindred spirits, which I have found is very rare. I adore this entire family and am honored that they have chosen to spend their holiday with us.

So, without being trite, I am grateful this Thanksgiving for a healthy family, really good friends, and the absolute pleasure that I feel to be loved and to love right back.

S is for Shoes

Ahhhhh . . . I love to buy new shoes. It doesn't matter if they are flip flops, slides, black boots, winter boots, sneakers, running shoes, sandals, crocs, you name it. They always fit and they brighten my usually mundane wardrobe. Chad does not share my love of shoes but then I don't share his love of tools. To each his own.

Little boys clothes are boring to start with. To my further disappointment, Sam had an extra wide foot for the first 6 years of his life which thus limited our choices to just a couple of styles. No cute shoes for him. My days brightened a little when sweet Henry did not have a wide foot. I had so much more to choose from! Red Chuck Taylor's were among my first favorites. And then the heavens opened up and gave me a girl with a petite foot. Not only was I set free from stripes, rugbys, dinosaurs and sports appliques but I could buy shoes to match! It gets even better. At nearly 20 months, she already seems to share my attraction to those pretty things we put on our feet. We can be shopping for groceries and if there happens to be a random display of shoes she starts taking hers off to try them on, without any prompting from me. Just today, I brought her home a new pair of brown boots with little pink flowers and her eyes lit up while she instinctively plopped down to try them on. Do I dare count how many shoes she's had so far in her short little life? Not to mention she's only been walking for 2.5 months. Let's see . . . I can count about 13 off the top of my head. Is that bad? They're just so tiny and cute that I can't resist. Plus, I rationalize that I can pass them down to cousin Ava.

The weather is finally turning cold here. You know what that means. I pretty much wear the same old clothes but I get to switch shoes! I'm still waiting for the perfect day to break out my new Merrells.

R is for Risk

What is your definition of RISK and when is the last time that you took one? Really took one. Of all the people that I know, Chad is the biggest risk taker. He goes forth with his ideas with full force and passion and seemingly has no concept of failure. At least if he does, it doesn't stop him. I am his biggest supporter, besides his mother. I am able to say now, after MUCH personal growth . . . . what is the worst that can happen? There is nothing that I can imagine that would be worse than not following your passion.

With that being said, what is my passion? I am passionate about my husband and children but that is obvious and easy. That is not a risk. Is there something out there that I really want to do but am not doing because I'm afraid to fail? Does there have to be more than I have now? ? Am I searching for something that isn't there?? I think that there is something more there to be discovered. I don't feel like I am empty but I do feel that I have great potential to do more and make a positive impact on others. I just need to figure out how to figure it out.

Q is for Qdoba

Duh! The business endeavor that we have chosen to pursue has been a HUGE part of our lives for the last 6 years. It has been a great source of stress and of accomplishment. It has paid our bills and wracked them up at the same time. It has forced Chad to, in my opinion, push himself in ways that he has always been capable of but never been called upon to act. It has forced me to think about what is really important and also what it really means to be a wife and mother. I married Chad because I loved and adored him and he loved and adored me (more) and made me feel safe and special. Nine years later I have realized that he is so much more man than I ever dreamed of. He is smart, determined, ambitious, driven and always loving and supportive. Succeeding in business for the right reasons is important to him and even more important is his family. He is able to handle tremendous stress on a daily basis and still make it home to put his kids to bed, make their soccer games and cub scout meetings and still, after nine years, let his wife know that she is loved and respected.

Building a business has been very hard and required much sacrifice but ultimately I think it has reminded us that if everything goes up in smoke we will always have each other and that will always be enough.

P is for Purpose

I would like to wake up each day knowing that I live my life on purpose.

O is for ?

I haven't posted in a long time. I have had a really hard time coming up with anything that starts with O. I have missed writing and reading others' posts so I think I'm going to just move forward. I will come up with something for O later . . .

N is for Never

• I've never climbed a 'real' mountain. I don't think I want to but the fact that I'm still thinking about it makes me think I do.


• I've never been really athletic, although I wish that was. I don't think it's completely out of the question yet.


• I've never developed a taste for 'real' martinis (i.e not a cosmo), although I see that in my future.


• I've never pierced anything except my ears and I'm totally ok with that.


• I've never been a waitress or a bartender but I've always wanted to be one. I haven't totally ruled it out just yet.


• I've never been a blond and have always wanted to try it. The maintenance is such a bitch though.


• I've never adopted/purchased a pet and kept it until it died. I really think I'm doing it this time though : )


• Since I can remember, I've never lived in one place for more than 4 years. We're going on 3.5 years here but we've already purchased a new house.
  
  
• I've never had a one night stand.
  

M is for More

I want to focus on ENOUGH rather than MORE.

L is for Lucy

You knew that was coming, right? Lucy is pure joy and love wrapped in one awfully cute package! She lights up a room to say the least and is surely the brightest spot in my day. Sorry, boys: ) She has so much personality and is so sweet that one cannot be around her without smiling, even when she's being a pill. I never really wanted a girl but she came at exactly the right time in my life that I could fully appreciate and enjoy her. Remind me of this when she hits puberty.

K is for Kindergarten

Henry had his first full day of kindergarten yesterday and loved it. He rode the bus to and from school and took his lunch and ate in the cafeteria. It was a big day for all. It was much more emotional for me when Sam went to kindergarten. This time it was pretty easy. I think I saw a few tears in Chad's eyes though. It was little Lucy who took it the hardest. All I heard ALL day was "Ham? Heny? Dada? over and over and over. She is so excited when we go to get them from the bus. Very sweet.

J is for Juleah

I thought for days what I would do with J. All I could think of was Joy and Jesus for which I could not come up with anything that seemed from my heart.

So, J is for Juleah, my sister-in-law. I don't have any biological sisters so I do appreciate when a woman comes in to my life that I consider a sister. I have had best friends and a step-sister by marriage that I was extremely close to but, sadly, am not anymore. Juleah is a person that upon first meeting I dismissed as someone that I could never relate to. She was too young, too spoiled, too redneck, etc. I think she felt the same way about me but with different adjectives. To my absolute pleasure, I can say today that I was very wrong! I think we have both grown from that first day that we met and thus have been able to open our hearts to one another. She is a true delight. I love that we are different and can revel in those differences. I respect her as a mother and wife which are two of my big measuring sticks.

We cooked an entire "Brooks Family" Thanksgiving dinner together in 2006 and did not argue or disagree once. It was of the most enjoyable experiences I've ever had, as I love to cook. We slaved over the famous 'Brooks' dressing and baked two different coconut cream pies - hers had a little more coconut, mine had a little more vanilla. It was a memorable and bonding experience.

I can say, without question, that she is one of the (few) people if my life that I fully trust and love.

I is for Independent

Being independent is a valuable quality that I learned at an early age. My, now passed, grandmother used to tell a story of me calling her at work asking where the tuna was because I needed to make sandwiches for me and my father. I was all of 5 years old.

I remember saying with great conviction that I never wanted to get married because I never wanted to depend on someone. I never wanted to have children because I think I was tired of being depended upon at a young age. I vehemently did not want to rely on another and in turn did not want someone to rely on me. I wanted to be free. This served me well in many circumstances but also left me lonely in many others.

I am, right now, the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. I can say that without a doubt. I am also the most dependent and the most depended upon that I have ever been. I have given up having a career to care for my children and my family, without any regrets. I am completely dependent on my husband to make the money that sustains our lifestyle. My children are, in turn, dependent on me to care for them on a daily basis. It is at times a very helpless feeling and at times a very powerful feeling.

H is for Hot

I am tired of being hot and sweaty everyday and not having central air. Fall is my favorite season and I can't wait!!

G is for Growing Up

I can't believe the kids are growing up so fast! Plus, it also means I am getting oooold. Sam is finally about to lose his first tooth one month before he turns 7, which is much later than anyone else we know. I was really enjoying looking at all those baby teeth in his big boy mouth. Once the adult teeth come in they look SO BIG comparatively. You can already see the big tooth coming in behind the one that's hanging by a thread. It makes me sad.

And then there's sweet Henry, going off to kindergarten and riding the bus. He will still be my baby boy for awhile longer though.

P.S. after I posted this the first time, Sam lost his tooth while on his playdate. He's convinced the tooth fairy will leave him either $5 or a small toy.

G is for Go

I think I feel the need to GO too much. It would be good for me to take more time to just BE.

F is for Friendship

I have been surprised, and then not so surprised if I'm honest with myself, at the friends that I've gained and the friend that I've lost this year. What do I require or appreciate in a friend? There are definitely different levels of friendship, as we have all experienced. Someone that I held dear to my heart for years is suddenly not my friend anymore and I am actually much better for it. But was it really suddenly and why am I better and does it really have anything to do with her?

Who holds the ticket to unconditional forgiveness no matter what they do? Anyone? Your mother? Your sister? Your best friend from high school that knows all your secrets? Apparently my mother does. Although everyone has to forgive their mother for something. I always remember the quote, "you forgive your mother once you become a mother" or something along those lines. That is definitely true. When I became a mother I experienced feelings I had never experienced before which made me appreciate my mother all the more. Thank goodness my mother is not a hard person to forgive.

My step-sister, the only sister I ever really knew (besides you JULEAH) and a very close friend, is right now on the 'do-not-forgive' list. That would be me totally in the grip of my ego, right?? I think her horrific behavior has gone on so long that I can no longer speak to her no matter what she has to say to me. At this point, she has nothing to say so the point is moot.

I think this is just me rambling but I think if a person is obstructing how you want to live your life then you have reevaluate the relationship. Everyone deserves forgivness no matter what they do but just because you forgive them doesn't mean they have to be an active part of your life. Maybe my posting should be F for Forgiveness.

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you" - Lewis B. Smedes